Pause for Prayer: SUNDAY 4/12

Thomas was a doubter
    and sometimes, Lord 

        - I'm a doubter, too...

 

Sometimes I doubt 

    your love for me,

    your care for me,     

    your word to me,

    the mercy and the peace 

        you offer me... 

 

And often, Lord, 

 I doubt myself...

 

Oh, others may believe in me

 - but still, I second-guess my self,

        undervalue myself,

            sell myself short,

    

Doubt can back me into corners

    and leave me short on hope…

 

Doubt can blind me to reality 

    staring me right in my face…

 

In an instant, 

    doubt can render void 

        whatever wisdom may be mine...

 

Doubt can rob me of the truth 

    truth I know,

        truth I depend upon 

            and cherish...

 

Yes, doubt can be a devil

    when it’s an angel's grace I need... 

 

Thomas was a doubter, Lord,

  'til he saw your suffering's wounds...

 

Thomas was a doubter, Lord, 

before believing in your glory

    risen, present, waiting for his touch...

 

Sometimes it's my own wounds, Lord,

    that keep me from believing, from trusting 

        that you're always there, by my side,

    that even in my deepest doubts

       your healing peace awaits me...

 

Don't let my wounds,

    my suffering, pain and loss,

keep me from discovering, Lord,

    from discerning and delighting in]

        your pardon and your peace...

 

Help me look with Thomas, Lord, 

    upon the wounds you bore for me
to remind me you're no stranger

    to what suffering may be mine...

Remind me that my own pain

    marks just the very place
where you, Lord, come to meet me,

    to mend my soul and heal my doubt,

        to lead me to your peace... 

 

Like Thomas, I'm a doubter, Lord,

 help me, like him then, come to faith

   and cry, "My Lord and God!"

Amen.

 

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NIGHT PRAYER: Saturday 4/11

As we have at other times, this evening we'll pray with art: images depicting the story in tomorrow's gospel: doubting Thomas.  

Many of the images in this post were influenced by Caravaggio's masterpiece: The Incredulity of Thomas (just below this paragraph). Every year, the gospel on the Sunday after Easter tells, the story of Thomas.  I hope these images (some classical and some very contemporary) might pique your interest and lead you to spend some time in prayer with them.  AND... a regular Night Prayer follows the gallery...

Here are some questions to guide you prayerfully through this gallery: 

    - What do you see in the apostles faces?

            fear? wonder? amazement? doubt? belief? 

    - What does their body language tell you 

            about the experience they're having?

    - What do you see in the face of Jesus?

            Where is he directing his gaze?

    - Where do you find yourself in these images?

    - How might you have responded

                had you been Thomas?

                

The Incredulity of Thomas by Caravaggio

 

The Doubting Thomas by Rocco Normanno

Incredulidad de Santo Tomas by Reubens

The Incredulity of Saint Thomas by Cope Amezcua

Doubting Thomas by John Gregory Granville

Image source

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

    Doubting Thomas by Generic Art Solutions 

 

 

 

                  Doubting Thomas by Jonathan Hilson

 

 

 

 

The Doubt of St. Thomas by He Qi

Doubting Thomas by Michael Smither 

    Doubting Thomas by Krishen Khanna

Doubting Thomas by Ben Steele

For some insightful commentary on Ben Steele's work (above) check out Anneke Majors' post at A Motley Vision.  Steele's subject and title form a visual pun playing on the work of Thomas Kinkade.

NIGHT PRAYER

 

I'm a believer, Lord 

    - you know that -

but you also know my doubts, my misgivings,

    my unsurety, my skepticism, my mistrust...

 

Sometimes doubt leads me to probe and clarify

   what I wasn't sure of, what I didn't understand,

      what I struggled with

but sometimes my doubt leads me to confusion,

   uncertainty and a kind of lonely fear

that leaves me wondering who I am, where I'm going

   and what path leads to truth...

I believe, Lord: help my unbelief...

Give me the grace to explore my doubt,

    trusting your Spirit to lead and guide me

        to light, to wisdom, to truth

and most of all to you, O Lord,

    to faith in you, my God...

 

Protect me, Lord, while I'm awake

    and watch over me when I sleep

that awake I might keep watch with you

    and asleep, rest in your peace...

 

Amen.

 

Tonight's song is the Thomas section of a very old hymn, O Sons and Daughters, composed by Jean Tisserand, a monk who died in 1494.

 

 O Sons and Daughters  

   sung by Saint Francis Sunday 7 PM Choir

 

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Pause for Prayer: SATURDAY 4/11

 

The gospel on the Sunday after Easter is always the story of doubting Thomas.  Each of  us might ask ourselves this weekend then, "What are my doubts?"  

 

I believe, Lord - but I still have doubts:

    cracks in my faith's foundation,

    chinks in the armor of my hope,

    crevices weakening my trust in you...

 

So I pray this morning 

    you'll use my doubt

        to strengthen my life in the Spirit...

  

Use my doubt to remind me

   to take nothing and no one for granted...

 

Use my doubt to push me to probe
   'til I find the truth in your word...

 

Use my doubt to remind me, Lord:

    I always have more to learn... 

 

Use my doubt to teach me, Lord:

    not everything is as it seems to be...

Use my doubt to increase my thirst

    for the waters of wisdom and truth...

 

Use my doubts as warnings, Lord,

    to focus and keep my eyes on the prize...

 

I still have my doubts but I don't doubt, Lord 

    that you can allay and resolve them all

so use all my doubts,  however you may

    to refresh and affirm my faith in you...

Amen.

 

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NGHT PRAYER: Friday 4/10

  

To be found by eyes seeking mine...

to be recognized for who I truly am...

to be known and called by name...

to be loved -- no strings attached...

to be freely, fully forgiven...

 
to be embraced with warmth
    and held in arms that don't let go...

who among us fails to long
    for such a love as this?

In so many different ways
    (some obvious, some more subtle)
we desire just this kind of love:

    we thirst for it, we drink it in

and sometimes, sadly, all too often,

    just when love's within arms' reach,

in hesitation's doubt and fear

    - we deny it, we discard it...

And yet...  we'll seek it once again,

    just one more time - and then again -

searching for the One whose arms 

    will hold us close

        and never, ever, let us go...

Every faithful friend's embrace,
    every longed-for lover's clutch, at times,

        may weaken and let go
save those strong and saving arms of One
    whose grip will never slip,
whose love is everlasting, more perfect and profound

    than any love we've ever dreamed of,

            longed for, hoped or prayed...

 

Every healing hug we've known
    is but a shadow and a promise
of the love we search and seek to find,

    again and yet again
until at last we're held forever

    in arms that won't let go... 

    
Our hearts are always searching, Lord,

    and oh, so very restless
        until they rest in you...

Protect us, Lord while we're awake

    and watch over us while we sleep

that awake, we might keep watch with you

    and asleep, rest in your peace...

Amen. 

 

Our Hearts Are Restless by Ephrem Feeley

 

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Pause for Prayer: FRIDAY 4/10

 

A new day's ahead of me, Lord, and I'm wondering: 

    who or what's

        gonna be my boss? 

        manage my time?

        bring me down?  lift me up?

        influence my decisions?  shape my desires?

        drain my energy?   charge me up?

        color my mood?  bring me to tears?

        turn my head?  grab my attention?

        seduce me?  inspire me?

        haunt my thoughts?  comfort me? 

        point the way?  lead me astray?

        walk by my side?

 

I've got a lot of bosses, Lord: 

        fear... fantasy... my schedule... the past... 

        resentments... anxiety... boredom... pleasure... 

        my job... pride... sadness... self-doubt... 

        family... friends... colleagues... classmates... 

        pain... sickness...  money... the news...

        busyness...  routine... relationships... hurt... 

        diet... substances...food...  drink... 

        worry... guilt... disappointments... shame...

        loneliness... laziness... grudges... habits...

        X______   Y______   Z______

 

Lots of bosses who can

    keep me from following you,

    keep me from leaning on grace,

    keep me from knowing your mercy,

    keep me from doing what I want to do,

    from becoming the person I want to be,

    from finding the peace I long for,

       finding my deepest only in you...

So, free me, Lord,

    from anyone or anything

        that keeps me from you, your mercy and love....   

        that keeps me from growing in grace and prayer...   

        that keeps me from walking the Spirit's path...   

        that wounds my heart or sours my soul...      

        that keeps me from knowing your wisdom and truth...   

        that keeps me from being healthy and whole...    

        that keeps me from finding the gift of joy... 

        that keeps me from __________  

        that keeps me from being only the person

            you created and made me to be... 

Be the boss of my life today, Lord:

    of my mind and my thoughts,

    my heart and my soul,

    my hopes and my dreams,

    my plans and my deeds,

    my work and my leisure,

    of my present moment

        and all that this day may bring...  

Amen

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NIGHT PRAYER: Thursday 4/9

Evil... It's not an exaggeration to say we find ourselves confronted with evil at almost every turn.  And sin...  Everywhere I look, I find evidence of the seven deadly sins - pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath, indifference - all staining the fabric of our shared life on this planet.  But it's not fashionable, not socially acceptable, to name the evil and sin that's all around us. Perhaps we've normalized these realities to the degree that we no longer recognize them for what they are...

 

Drawing on Pope John Paul II’s letter, The Splendor of Truth in which he relied on the Vatican II document, Joy and Hope,  the American bishops offered these examples of intrinsic evil:

“Whatever is opposed to life itself,
    such as any type of murder, genocide, abortion,
        euthanasia or willful self-destruction;
- whatever violates the integrity of the human person,
    such as mutilation, torments inflicted on body or mind,
        attempts to coerce the will itself;
- whatever insults human dignity,
    such as subhuman living conditions,
        arbitrary imprisonment,
            deportation, slavery, prostitution,
                the selling of women and children;
- as well as disgraceful working conditions
    where men and women are treated
        as mere tools for profit
            rather than as free and responsible persons;
- all these things and others of their like
    are infamies indeed.
They poison human society…
    they are a supreme dishonor to the Creator. "

Categorizing these evils as intrinsic means that these are deeds so evil that no circumstance can make them good.  And the list above is not exhaustive. 

 

I recognize the power of the evil one and the reality of sin  in the world - and in my own life as well.  I know my own personal struggle to be a more faithful child of God, a sibling of Jesus, anointed by the Spirit - in the face of evil that tempts me to trust and follow my own mind and will rather than render myself vulnerable to divine wisdom and grace.

 

In that light, then, I offer this Night Prayer... 

 

Deliver us, Lord, from every evil:

 from its cunning, conniving wiles and schemes

 at work in the world, among and within us,

 crafty and sly, subtle and shrewd...

 

Deliver us, Lord, from evil's inducement

 to lay down our words and take up arms,

 to plunder and pillage,

 to kill and destroy...

 

Deliver us, Lord, from any evil

 that feeds our hearts

 with guile and bitterness, 

 spite and suspicion,

 rage and resentment…

 

Deliver us, Lord, from the bigoted evil

 that tempts us to hate and spurn our neighbor,

 to reject, despise and condemn the other,

   simply for being - other -

      for not being just like us...

 

Deliver us, Lord, from the lying evil

 that bends and twists, distorts and denies 

 the truth of the simple wisdom 

 that saves and sets us free…

 

Deliver us, Lord, from evil that works

 to excuse and condone, indulge and concede

 the death of innocent, blameless souls

 who’ve done no harm,

 who've committed no wrong…

 

Deliver us from, Lord, from the scurrilous evil

 that gossips and bad-mouths 

 smears and stains, destroys and defiles

 the virtue and honor 

 of someone’s good reputation...

 

Deliver us, Lord, from the grotesque evil

 of making a profit off drugs and porn,

   and weapons that harm and maim and kill;

 of making a living through grifting and graft

   and fraud and scams,

   extortion and insider trading... 

 

Deliver us, Lord, from evil's grip

  shackling those who are most in need 

  of the freedom and rights 

  belonging to all

  and given you, our Creator... 

 

Deliver us, Lord, from the devious evil

 that lurks in the hearts, 

 in the plans and the deeds,

 in the machinations 

 of those who hate and despise us...

 

Deliver us, Lord, from every evil

 haunting and taunting, teasing and tempting

 our personal pride, our selfish desires,

 our willful and obstinate minds…

 

Deliver us, Lord, from the evil of those

  who blaspheme your name

 and all that is holy, all that is just,

  all that is good and pure…

 

Deliver us into your mercy, O Lord:

 into your grace, into your peace,

 into your pure and abiding love…

 

Lead us not into temptation

  but deliver us, Lord, we pray,

from the prowling presence of evil

  roaming our world

   and seeking the ruin of souls...

 

Deliver us, Lord:

 by the strength of your arm,

 the gifts of your Holy Spirit,

 the loving protection of angels and saints

 and the prayers of Mary our Mother,

  the Queen and the Gate of heaven...

 

Protect us, Lord, while we're awake

    and watch over us while we sleep

that awake, we might keep watch with you

    and asleep, rest in your peace...

Amen. 

 

We Look to You by Joel Sczebel, Matt Searles

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