Pause for Prayer: Wednesday in Holy Week

I've been developing and posting this Pause for Prayer on Wednesday of Holy Week since 2008.  It's longer than a usual daily post and includes the following:

    - some background on Spy Wednesday

    - some thoughts on betrayal

    - Rufus Wainwright's wrenching musical setting 

        of the Lamb of God

    - my Pause for Prayer entry

    - and another (gentler, healing) setting of the Lamb of God 

        by Samuel Barber

Spy Wednesday: Just about everyone, believer and non-believer alike, identifies Judas with betrayal. Wednesday of Holy Week is called Spy Wednesday because on this day at mass we hear the story of Judas' traitorous scheming:

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over...  On the evening of the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, Jesus reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”        

Betrayal is an ugly word...

 

Here are two hard questions:

    who has betrayed me?  

    by whom have I been betrayed? 

 

What wounds, what scars, what sorrow

    has betrayal left in my life?

        in the lives of those whom I've betrayed?

 

Fr. Aidan Kavanagh spoke of Holy Thursday as

    the night in which Jesus was betrayed 

        - by the worst in us all...

 

That's a discomforting perspective on Judas' betrayal:

    it's easy to point an accusing finger at Judas

    - not so easy to accuse myself...

 

On the night Jesus was betrayed,

    Judas stood in for all of us,

for all of us who have betrayed 

    our God and our neighbor...

 

And the next day, Jesus, innocent and without sin, 

    stood in for us,

carrying on his shoulders 

    and suffering in his wounds

the burden of all our infidelities, 

    our sins - and our betrayals... 

 

On the Cross, 

    Jesus, the Lamb of God

        takes away the sins of the world...

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world: 

   have mercy on us!  

 
Here's  Rufus Wainwright's contemporary setting of the Agnus Dei (Lamb of God).  The opening sounds here drill into our hearts, our souls, to precisely the place where the Lord's mercy meets us: in our sins and betrayal of God and of others.  While Wainwright's music  might help us image Judas plotting against Jesus - it doesn't abandon us to Judas' despair - rather, it moves us beyond to the consolation of the One who takes our sins away, finally resolving  in great peace: dona nobis pacem (give us peace).

 

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Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
    have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:

   have mercy on us.  
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: dona nobis pacem.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
    grant us peace.

Pause for Prayer

With the light of your truth, Lord, 

    open my heart and help me be honest 

in seeing how I've betrayed you:

    how I've taken your mercy and love for granted...

    how I've presumed upon your forgiveness...

    how, out of loyalty to the crowd, 

        the latest fad or myself

    I've betrayed you in thought, word and deed...

With the light of your truth, Lord, 

    open my heart and help me be honest 

in seeing how I've betrayed 

    my family, friends and colleagues       

        at home, at work, at school, in my community...

    how I've betrayed my neighbor 

        with rumors and gossip...

    how I've betrayed the poor and hungry 
      with my greedy and wasteful ways...

    how I've betrayed the truth 

        with my lies and cheating...  

  
With the light of your truth, Lord, 

    open my heart and help me be honest 

in seeing how I've betrayed myself:

    how I've been dishonest with and about
      the person you made me to be...

    how I've betrayed my own word

        in being unfaithful...

    how I've betrayed your image within me,

      the image in which you created me,

        by choosing the cheap and the tawdry... 

With the light of your truth, Lord, 

    open my heart and help me be honest 

        in seeing how I, like Judas, hand you over

            for money and prestige, 

            out of pride and in fear,     

            in selfishness and presumption,
            and in my vain, self-serving efforts      

                to win the praise of others...

Forgive me the times I've betrayed, you, Lord...

Forgive me the times I've betrayed my neighbor... 

And help me forgive, Lord, 

    those who have betrayed me...

Amen. 

 

And finally... here are some healing sounds 

    from Samuel Barber's much gentler setting of Agnus Dei
        performed by the incomparable Ensemble Altera 

 

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Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
    have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:

   have mercy on us.  
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: dona nobis pacem.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
    grant us peace.

 

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NIGHT PRAYER: Tuesday in Holy Week

In this holy week, Lord, 

we remember how - for our sakes -

    you were betrayed, 

    falsely accused, 

    arrested, 

    judged, 

    sentenced, 

    scourged, 

    spat upon, 

    mocked, 

    crowned with thorns, 

    stripped of your garments, 

    humiliated, 

    burdened by the Cross, 

    crucified, 

    pierced by a lance 

    and buried in a borrowed grave...

 

All of this, Lord,

for our sakes,

for the forgiveness of our sins:

    you offered your life,

        your mercy and your love

    that we might have life

        and have it to the full...

You did none of this to condemn us, Lord,

    but only that we might be saved...

In this holy week, help us remember

    that God so loved the world

    that he gave us you, his only Son

    that whoever believes in you

        might not perish 

    but have eternal life...

God so loved the world...

Be with us, Lord, as we lie awake,

    and watch over us while we sleep

that awake, we might keep watch with you

    and asleep, rest in your peace...

Amen.

 

God So Loved the World by John Stainer

    performed by the Sunday 7PM Choir

 

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God so loved the world,
God so loved the world,
That he gave his only begotten son,
That whoso believeth,
Believeth in him should not perish,
Should not perish
But have everlasting life.

 
For God sent not his Son
Into the world to condemn the world,
God sent not his Son
Into the world to condemn the world,
But that the world through him might be saved.

 
God so loved the world,
God so loved the world,
That he gave his only begotten son,
That whoso believeth,
Believeth in him should not perish,
Should not perish
But have everlasting life.

 

God so loved the world

God so loved the world

God so loved the world 

  

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Pause for Prayer: Tuesday of Holy Week

Holy Week is all about your mercy, Lord:
    about how much I need it  

        and how my heart is longing
    for the pardon that you offer me
        - time and time again...

 

Holy Week is all about your love, Lord:
    about how much I need it
        and how I take for granted 

    the healing that you offer me

         - time and time again... 

 

Holy Week is all about new life, Lord:
    about how much I need it 

        to fill my heart and soul 

    with the grace your Spirit offers me
        - time and time again...

 

Lord, help me walk these days with you
   towards mercy, love and life,
to the gift of Easter's joyful hope,       

    the peace you've won and offered me

        - time and time again... 

 

Amen.

 

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NIGHT PRAYER: Monday of Holy Week

Tonight our prayer begins 

    with wise counsel from John Predmore, SJ.,

        followed by a song and my Night Prayer...                

    We have to give ourselves permission
    to be weak enough to enter into Holy Week.

    Stop pretending that you can hold everything together.
    No one is telling you that you have to be strong.

    Instead, you need to be real.

    You do not need to put on a special face to others 
    to show you are a Christian. 

    Stop perpetuating illusions 
    about the way others tell you to be.

    This week is about your relationship with Jesus Christ  

    and what he needs most is for you to be a real person 

    – just as you are –

    even if you are weak, vulnerable, filled with chaos, 

    and bombarded by a variety of conflicting emotions.

    If this is who you are, 
    then this is the 'you' Jesus wants to meet 
    on this journey to the cross.

- John Predmore, S.J.

Tonight's song isn't particularly Lenten or Paschal but it's an old favorite - and in light of John's reflection above, this song is worth praying every day this week...  My Night Prayer follows the widget.

Take, O Take Me As I Am by John Bell

 

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Take, O take me as I am, Lord,

    not as I wish I might have been,

    not as I wish I were,

    not as I wanted to be today

    not or hope to be tomorrow

    but just as I am today:

        the person who stands before you

        knowing there's nothing about me

        you don't already know...

Take me to your Cross, Lord, 

    just as I am...

 

Summon out what I shall be, Lord,

    Summon to the surface 

        what I'm afraid to face;

    pardon what needs mercy,

        mend my broken parts

            and heal my every wound...

    Summon from my depths, O Lord,

        the person you created,

            for whom you died and rose,

                and who waits upon your kindness...

Summon me to stand, Lord,

    humbly by your Cross

in need of your mercy,

    just as I am...    

Set your seal upon my heart, Lord,
    and with your gentle touch:

        seal my soul with mercy,
        seal my heart with love,
        seal my thoughts with wisdom
        and my soul with saving grace... 

Sign me with with your Cross

   and set your seal upon my heart,

        just as I am, Lord, just as I am...

 

And live in me, Lord...

    dwell in me in peace,

        my friend and close companion:

    be a housemate in my soul

        and the keeper of my heart...

Come into my heart, Lord,

    just as it is, just as I am...      

 

Protect me, Lord, while I'm awake

    and watch over me while I sleep

that awake, I might keep watch with you

    and asleep rest in your peace...

 

Amen. 

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Passover, Easter - and the moon

    Photo by Juan Rodriguez

 

There are millions of images
    of sunrises and sunsets
but not often enough do we see
    a moonrise, a moonset...

 

And this week, the moon is so important 

   as its light and phases determine

the time to celebrate to celebrate

    our paschal feasts...     

 

Passover:

    in the seventh month, 

        the 15th day of Nisan,

            at the full moon... 

 

Easter: 

   the first Sunday

      after the first full moon

         after the spring equinox...

 

How fitting, Lord, that the heavens above 

    should set the date for us to celebrate

      your rising from the dead!

The moon:

   drawing its cool silver light 

      from the heat of the sun;

the moon:

   waiting for springtime's turn

      at equal night and day;

the moon:

   full of vernal glory,

      awaiting the Paschal Lamb...

 

In these early days of Holy Week,

   shine your light, O God, 

      upon our faith, our prayer,

upon our waiting for your Son to rise again:

   in our hearts, in our souls and in the world

with the gift, the grace and glory

    of your everlasting life... 

Amen.

 

Here's some Celtic music to help us contemplate the rising of the Paschal moon...

 

Moonsong by Adrian von Ziegler 

 

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Monday Morning Offering: 3/30

Morning Coffee by George Mendoza

I've posted this for many years on Monday of Holy Week so you may remember it.  It's something I need to be reminded of and to pray for every year and perhaps you'll find it helpful, too...

 

And so it has begun, Lord:

    the Week we call Holy...

I've read how theologians debate 
    whether any unit of time or time itself
        can actually be or become holy -
but I'll leave that to the scholars, Lord,
    and simply wonder about my being holy,
        growing in holiness,
    - especially in the week ahead...

Why am I afraid of this word: holy?
Why am I put off by it?
Why am I so easily convinced
that holiness may be for others 

    - but not for me?

I know I want to be strong, healthy, wise and just,
    honest, fair, loving and prayerful, 

        faithful, kind, compassionate and forgiving
- so why do I shy away, Lord,

    from the prospect of becoming holy?

Could it be I just don't understand
     - what it means to be holy?

Help me understand, Lord,
    especially this week
        - and help me want to be holy...
 

Help me understand that to be holy is:

    to be the whole person you made me to be;
    to be in a right relationship with you, my God;
    to live and to work graciously with others;
    to use and offer and share
        all the gifts and talents you've given me;
    to do what is just, to love what is good,
        and to walk humbly with you, O Lord...

 

I do want to be all of those things, Lord,

    so help me understand:

        that's what it means to be holy! 

 

Of course, there's one thing I know for certain:
    I could be a whole lot more holy

        than I am right now… 

But just how holy do I want to be?

I want to be holy enough, Lord, 

    to stand before you, Lord

      - without embarrassment, shame or guilt...

I want to be holy enough, Lord,

    to know that I've helped the poor
        - and generously so…

I want to be holy enough, Lord

    to know that my intentions and desires, 

        my dreams and schemes
            - are honest, pure and just...

I want to be holy enough, Lord, 

    to love you with a good heart
        - cleansed of selfishness and pride…

I want to be holy enough, Lord,  

    to recognize my lack of holiness
and to ask for the help of your grace
    - whenever and wherever I need it...

Just four days left* in Lent, Lord: 
    four more days to be holy 

        - at least a little more holy -

    in this season of praying and fasting
        and serving the needs of others...

Four days left in Lent
    to be more faithful to prayer

in the morning, in the evening 
    or whenever you and I might sit down,
        one-on-one,  just the two of us, Lord... 

Four days left to deny myself 
    some taste or sip, some pleasure or toy, 

        some whatever-it-might-be, Lord
    and discover what hunger fasting reveals,
        what empty space that needs to be filled

            with your wisdom, your word and your truth... 

 
Four days left to care for the poor, 
    to give to the poor, to be with the poor, 
        to work for the poor
            - to discover how rich I am -
        and reach out to share my bounty 

            with those whose needs 

                are much greater than mine..

So, I ask you, Lord, in this holy week:
    make me at least a little more holy
        than ever I've been before...

I offer you this holy week:
    make me holy, Lord,
        day by day, 

    make me holy

        one day at a time...

Amen.

* Lent ends at sundown on Thursday of Holy Week and then begins the Triduum Holy Thursday, Good Friday and the Easter Vigil) followed by the 50 days of the Easter season, culminating on Pentecost Sunday. 

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