On Sundays, Night Prayer takes its lead from some element from the day's liturgy. In today's gospel from Matthew 16, Jesus says, "If you want to come after me, you must deny himself,
take up your cross, and follow me.
If you wish to save your life - you will lose it,
but if you lose your life for my sake - you will find it"
I didn't have a preaching assignment this weekend, but as I heard the deacon proclaim the gospel on Saturday afternoon, I was struck as never before by the thought of losing my life - for the Lord's sake... My thoughts turned to all the many possible ways I might lose my life - not for the Lord's sake - but for the sake of so many other things...
For your sake, Lord!
That's what you ask of me...
You're ok with my losing the gift of my life
as long as it's for your sake...
That got me to thinking, Lord:
what might be some other ways
I might lose my life
for the sake of so much less?
What other ways might I spend my life,
waste my life, toss away your gift and grace?
For the sake of what paltry things
might I let go the greatest gift I've ever received?
I might lose my life
for the sake of fame and fortune...
I might lose my life
for the sake whatever, however,
I've defined what happiness is...
I might lose my life
for the sake of being accepted
by someone or some group of people...
I might lose my life
for the sake of whatever habits
addict my body, my attention,
my affection, my soul...
I might lose my life
for the sake of pleasure, self-gratification,
comfort or indulgence..
I might lose my life
for the sake of holding on
to what I should let go
or for the sake of avoiding
what I need to confront...
I might lose my life
for the sake of mindless dreams,
fantasies and delusions...
I might lose my life
for the sake of looking for love
in all the wrong places...
I might lose my life
for the sake of those,
for the sake of things
whose promises are hollow,
empty, counterfeit and false...
What then, Lord, does it mean
to lose my life for your sake?
How might I lose my life
for your sake, Lord?
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
by humbly naming you
my Creator and Redeemer,
and your mercy and your grace
the greatest gifts I'll ever know...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when I lose myself in prayer,
when I lose myself in gratitude,
remembering that you know me,
that you call me by my name,
that you're ever at my side,
in good times and in bad,
in sorrow and in joy...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when I remember how you love me
in spite of all sins,
when I remember that your mercy
has no end and knows no bounds...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when I pray for the grace to let go
all that holds me bound,
what shackles and imprisons me
and keeps me from being
whom you created me to be...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when I lose myself for others,
when I share with others, generously,
from all that you have given me,
all you've given me to give away...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when I let go what has its hold on me
and welcome in the blessings
you have ready for my heart...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when I let go my stubborn ways
and open wide my mind
to your wisdom, word and will...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when life with you forever
is my deepest, hope, my greatest dream,
the promise that sustains me
in good times and in bad...
I lose my life for your sake, Lord,
when your heart becomes the place
where I first look for my home,
for my peace and consolation,
the haven where there's healing
for my wounded, broken heart...
Help me, Lord!
Help me not waste or spend
or lose my life on anyone or anything
- less -
than you, your mercy,
your promise and your love...
Protect me, Lord, while I'm awake
and watch over me while I sleep
that awake, I might keep watch with you
and asleep rest in your peace...
Amen.
O God, You Search Me
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