NIGHT PRAYER: Friday 8/21

This past week I came across these words from the great spiritual writer,  Henri Nouwen. (For our purposes here, I've arranged his prose into sense lines.)  I would count these words as among the most wise, insightful and powerful texts on the spiritual life that I've ever read.  I believe there's something here for every reader... (My own prayer follows after)

Our life is a short time in expectation, 

a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other 

at every moment. 

 

There is a quality of sadness 

that pervades all the moments of our lives. 

It seems that there is no such thing as a clear-cut pure joy, 

but that even in the most happy moments of our existence 

we sense a tinge of sadness. 

 

In every satisfaction, 

    there is an awareness of limitations...

 

In every success, 

    there is the fear of jealousy...

 

Behind every smile, 

    there is a tear...

 

In every embrace, 

    there is loneliness...

 

In every friendship, 

    distance... 

 

And in all forms of light, 

    there is the knowledge of surrounding darkness...

 

But this intimate experience 

    in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death 

        can point us beyond the limits of our existence...

 

It can do so by making us look forward in expectation 

    to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, 

        a joy that no one shall take away from us...

 

- Henri J.M. Nouwen in     

Making All Things New: An Invitation to the Spiritual Life  

 

Night Prayer 

 

Lord, grant me the grace to accept in my own life:

    that all life is short;

    that every joy is kissed by sadness,

        every sadness kissed by joy;

    that this bittersweet embrace

        in this communion of your grace,

    is the only place I'll find

        the healing promise of your peace

    and the faith to trust and hope:

        all shall be well, all shall be well,

            that in the end, all shall be well... 

 

Protect me, Lord, while I'm awake

    and watch over me while I sleep

that awake, I might keep watch with you

    and asleep rest in your peace...

 

Amen. 

 

Searching for music to pair with Nouwen's text and my prayer was not an easy task.  Everything song I found that came close was seeking to guide the listener through sadness to joy - and of course, that's not a bad thing!  But Nouwen's words speak to how joy and sadness live together...  But I finally discovered and I'm offering this instrumental piece by Davis Harwell.  You'll hear how the steady, deep pulse of sadness in the composition underlies and accompanies the lighter higher line of joy... Sadness and joy kiss each other...

 

Joy and at the Same Time Sadness

    by Davis Harwell  

 

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Pause for Prayer: THURSDAY 8/20

 

You can see from the image above that I'm taking on a very difficult question here - one that has no quick or easy answers.  And those answers that have been offered, have left many people unsatisfied. I'm not offering an answer in the prayer that follows - more of an exploration of a tough question whose probing, if nothing else, will lead us to ponder and pray over the inscrutable mysteries of God... 

 

I hate it, Lord,
   when bad things happen to good people...

And, let’s face it, Lord:

   bad things happen to good people

      a lot, even often - all the time…

 

And I don’t understand, Lord – WHY –

   some really bad things happen

      to some really good people

   and why sometimes

      the worst things happen

         to the best of people…

 

And I don’t understand, Lord,
   why you  – you who are so good -

why you ALLOW

   bad things to happen to good people,

things that burden and complicate

   and mess up the lives

      of people who’ve done no wrong…

I don’t understand, Lord:

   why hard times fall

      on hard workers;

   or why the rich get richer

      and the poor get poorer;

   or why innocent people

      are unjustly accused;

   or why the kindest of people

      get sick and die;

   or why so many starve

      while food is wasted;

    or while some have 2 homes

      while others are homeless;

   or why hard-working people

      lose all that they have;

   or why innocent children

      are born into poverty;

   or why the weak are bullied

      by strong-armed thugs; 

   why good folks suffer

      for no good reason

   in ways that are painful,

      undeserved and harsh…

 

So, that’s why I wonder, Lord,

   why do you let bad things happen

      to good people

   - why do you let bad things happen

      to ANY people!

 

Why do you, a loving, merciful God

   allow your people, your own, your beloved,

      to know, to experience, to live through

         their losses, suffering and pain?

 

Lord, it’s not that I think

   you’re mean or cruel:

I believe that you’re loving,

   merciful and kind…

 

And it’s not that I think

   you don’t care about me:

I believe that you hold me close

   in your arms, your hands and your heart…

And it’s not that I think

   you forget or abandon me:

 I believe you keep a watchful eye on me

   always, all day and all night…

 

But I also know, Lord,

   that I live in a broken world

a world with sharp and jagged edges

   that cut and scrape and wound and scar

      the bodies and the souls

         of the good and the bad alike

I know, Lord,

   that you’re not the source

      of my suffering and pain…

   that it’s I who fail you,

      not you who fail me…

   that you love me, Lord - all of the time -

         when I’m good – and when I’m not…

 

And I know that hard times come my way

   when I fail to love you

      and my brothers and sisters

         and when I fail to love myself;

that bad things often happen to me

   when I’m foolish, not wise

   when I’m selfish, not generous

   when I’m judgmental, not understanding

   when I’m rude, not respectful

   when I’m greedy, not generous

   when I’m angry, not peaceful

   when I’m arrogant, not humble

   when I’m spiteful, not kind

   when I’m prejudiced, not impartial

   when I’m hostile, not friendly

   when I’m demanding, not accepting,

   when I’m crude, not respectable,

   when I’m aggressive, not approachable

   when I’m rough, not gentle

   when I’m uncaring, not thoughtful

   when I’m lustful, not clean

   when I’m hardhearted, not forgiving

   when I’m reckless, not prudent

   when I’m hasty, not careful

   when I’m hateful, not loving…

 

And sometimes, Lord,

   - when others are judgmental and spiteful -

         that’s when bad things happen to me…

But at other times, Lord,

   - when it’s me who’s spiteful and judgmental

         that’s when bad things happen to others

            - and I’m the one who’s at fault…

 

But you already know all about all of this, Lord,

   because you are good, you are always good

– and yet –

   such bad things happened to you

      and for that we are all to blame…

 

You are good, Lord, loving and faithful,

   merciful, selfless, kind and just

but on account of my faults and my many sins,

   you were unjustly judged and condemned,

and you suffered and died on the Cross for me

   that I might be pardoned, forgiven by you

and have that life and find that peace

   that’s only yours to give…

Walk with me, Lord and be by my side

   when hard things come my way,

      and bad things happen to me

when I don’t understand

   my suffering and my pain

      and I turn to you for healing…

 

When bad things happen to good folks, Lord,

   when bad things happen to me:

deepen my faith in you and your word

   and give me the strength I need

to love my neighbor as myself

   and you, my God, above all…

 

Amen. 

  

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Pause for Prayer: WEDNESDAY 8/19

 

 

Today, Lord, I choose to believe in you 
   - not to try to go it alone -
            but to believe in your loving care for me...

Today, Lord, I choose to trust in you
   - not to stress out in fear and panic -
           but to trust that you're always right by my side...

Today, Lord, I choose to live by your Word
   - not by my whims and fancies -
           but by the wisdom and truth of your Word...

Today, Lord, I choose to do what is right
   - not to shortcut my way on the easy path -
           but to do what I know to be just and fair...

Today, Lord, I choose to smile and to laugh
    - not to pout in self-pity or weep in despair -
         but to seek out what joy this new day will bring...  

Today, Lord, I choose to tell the truth
   - not to lie and cheat my way out -
           but to speak the truth in in word and deed...

Today, Lord, I choose to reach out to others
   - putting others' needs ahead of my own -
           learning to love as I want to be loved...

Today, Lord, I choose to look for the good
   - in spite of my bent to see all that's wrong - 
           and to find in what's good the touch of your hand...

Today, Lord, I choose to walk your path

     - following your map and not my own -

            'til I find you before me, behind me, beside me.. 

Today, Lord, I choose to live as I'm called

    - not for my own gain but only for you -

        and all for your glory, honor and praise...

Today, Lord, I choose what will help me to grow
   in your truth, in your grace, 
       in your peace and your joy...

Today, Lord
- I choose you!

Amen. 

Today I Choose You by Tony Elenburg

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Yesterday is gone forever,
And tomorrow's still a day away;
I can't change the things I've done,
And You alone know beyond today
What comes my way;
But in the stillness of your presence, Lord,
I'm reminded of Your grace;
The Spirit breathes assurance
That I have a choice today.

And today I choose to abide in you,
Today I choose to abide in you;
Today may be a storm like I've never seen before
But today I'll rest,
Today I'll rest,
Lord, today I'll rest in You.

 

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A late evening prayer...

My sister took this photo while we were sitting on her porch in the late afternoon looking past the hummingbird feeder and towards the mountains here in Georgetown, Colorado.  Although the feeder is a popular spot, just at this moment no one seemed to be thirsty.  I share the photo as an image of the peace and beauty that have been my surroundings since the beginning of July...

I've done little, Lord,

and surely less than I might have, 

to deserve the peace I've found here,

much less to be deemed worthy 

of this natural estate

where I've made my summer home

 

so I count it grace, pure gift, then,

a blessing and a boon,

to be welcomed to retreat here,

to this place and to this time,

to this respite from all else,  

to this moment two months long...

 

to this time, this precious time,

spent with family and with friends, 

passed in leisure and in prayer,

in the Colorado mountains, 

'neath the beauty of the clouds 

floating close by heaven's door,

where I find myself so much at peace

and closer, Lord, 

to you...

 

Amen. 

  

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If you could have dinner with anyone, living or dead: whom would you invite?

    Leonard Bernstein 

waiting to have dinner with me... 

 

Have you ever been asked this question?  For decades now, I've named Leonard Bernstein as the person I'd love to have dinner with. Not just because he's a composer and I love music - but because one composition of his has held a place in my heart since the first time I heard it: MASS: A Theatre Piece for Singers, Players, and Dancers.

 

Bernstein's MASS  was premiered as the opening performance of the John F. Kennedy Center for Performing Arts on September 5, 1971. Reviews by music, theater and church critics were very mixed. Although Catholic response was largely negative and harsh, some 30 years later Pope John Paul II requested that MASS be performed at the Vatican where it was well received.

 

MASS premiered two years before my ordination as a priest and I was immediately taken by its use of ancient liturgical texts and contemporary lyrics (Stephen Schwartz and Paul Simon contributed to Bernstein's libretto); its variety of musical genres; and the deep insights it offered into the heart of Christian worship - all from the creative genius of three Jewish musicians!

 

In the homily I preached at my first mass in 1973, I took a line from Bernstein's MASS as my central image: "How easily things get broken!" How easily God's creation has been broken... how easily humankind has been broken... how easily the human heart is broken...  how easily was the body of Christ broken, for us, that we might be healed and made whole... how humbling that in spite of and through my own brokenness I should be called to break the bread of eucharist for God's people...

 

And how I would love to have the opportunity to sit down with this maestro and seek some insight into the creative process that guided his mind, heart and soul to composing this masterpiece music, drama and faith!

 

All of this comes to mind because I recently found online a video of Bernstein's MASS which includes the score!  I've had a recording of MASS for decades but have never seen the score. I realize that most folks won't be as excited by this as I am - so I'm placing the video with the score at the end of this post.

 

But I do want to introduce you to this wonderful musical masterpiece. Recall from its title that it's a theatre piece for singers, players, and dancers. It's not a musical or a play - but it does have singers, players, dancers, a little costuming and a few props. Seeing it staged, then, is the intended experience and simply listening to the audio is, well, much less than that.  

 

Unfortunately, I've never seen MASS in a theater - and videos of the whole production are scarce.  I'm offering this one which features the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, directed by Marin Alsop and featuring Paulo Szot as the Celebrant. I have some reluctance here because this 2012 production includes some unhappy changes in the score, particularly in the Epistle section, around the 40:00 mark. (What was I saying about brokenness?)  If you choose to listen to the production here, you'll find some conversation about this in the comments on YouTube.  Other than this unfortunate issue, I warmly recommend this presentation and I believe you'll enjoy it - even be moved by it.

 

MASS: 

    A Theatre Piece for Singers, 

        Players, and Dancers.

 

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Leonard Bernstein's MASS

    With the score! 

 

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A performance by the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra with Jubiliant Sykes singing the role of the Celebrant.  

 

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Monday Morning Offering: 8/17

Coffee in the Morning by George Mendoza

Good morning, good God!

Sometimes, Lord,
I feel little nudges, prompts and pokes
    - and I'm sure they come from you -
because they hit me when I need a push,
nudge me where I need to go
and prompt me on the things I need to do...

I offer thanks this morning, Lord
for all the ways you press upon my heart 

    and remind me of your presence 

and gently pull me free of fears 

    that keep me from your joy...

 

Grace - the word for all the ways

    you nudge me toward 

        your gifts of peace and love,

    your Spirit keeping, saving me

        from all the selfish folly

            of my doings and designs...

Does even one day pass
    that you don't stir within my soul,
dropping hints within my heart
    to move my mind to muse
        upon your presence all around?

Is any moment empty
    of the whisper of your wisdom
nudging me beyond myself
    to serve whom I've not served,
    to give as I've not given,
    to love as I've not thought my heart 

        could give itself away?

Poke, push, and prompt me, Lord 
    and wake me to your word;
call me to life more free
    than all I've known thus far...

Open wide my eyes and ears 

    to those whose paths cross mine,
who may not yet have felt the touch 

    of grace upon their hearts... 

Good God of Monday morning
    and of every starry night,
I pray I'll feel you nudging me
    all through the week ahead...

Amen.

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A different kind of prayer tonight... the power of flowers in jail

Many of my readers know that when I visit here in Georgetown, Colorado I join in a weekly prayer group led by my sister, Ruth, at the Clear Creek County Jail. My sister always brings along a small plastic container holding 3 or 4 blossoms (see above) which she sets in the middle of the table around which we gather.  Before we pray, Ruth always tells the men what the flowers are and invariably they pass the mini-arrangement around the table for a closer look.

Running a little late this past Thursday night we almost didn't bring any flowers - but at the last minute, my sister collected a few blooms from her front yard and then while we were waiting outside the facility for a deputy to let us in, I plucked a couple wildflowers growing at the jail's entrance and added them in.

 As the men walked into the room for prayer, we saw that there was a newcomer, a tall guy, solid build - and with long dreadlocks - I'll call him Jack. We welcomed Jack and as it happened, he took a seat near the flowers on the table. Just as we were ready to begin, Jack exclaimed - and he truly did exclaim: Are those real flowers? We said yes and he said, I haven't seen a flower in over a year - can I touch them? Then he took the small bottle in hand and carefully inspected each blossom, touching the petals oh-so-gently and sniffing the scent of something fresh, natural and beautiful.  Then Jack set the flowers down on the table - with the care one might use in handling something valuable, fragile and precious.

We can't take phones into the jail so I have no video - and my words here don't really do justice to the moment of awe and appreciation we all experienced through Jack on Thursday night.  But I wanted to post this, hoping to share with you - and invite you into - this holy moment...

Perhaps sometime today or tomorrow you might go outdoors and find something fresh, alive and beautiful and hold it gently in your hand.. and be grateful for what Jack taught us - and for what God has given us - in the simplest things of life...

In the photo at the top of the post is the small bottle my sister uses to bring flowers into the jail.  I want to share with you the partially hidden inscription: Learn from the way the wildflowers grow... Matthew 6:28

Simple Gifts

  composed by Elder Joseph Brackett 

`  performed by Yo Yo Ma and Alison Krauss  

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'Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free 

'Tis the gift to come down where you ought to be, 

And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 

'Twill be in the valley of love and delight. 

 

When true simplicity is gained, 

To bow and to bend we will not be ashamed, 

To turn, turn will be our delight, 

Till by turning, turning we come ’round right. 

 

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