It's a lesson that still sticks with her three years later.
When Amanda Melo was in second grade, her teacher wanted to show the students what happens when a child is teased.
The teacher drew a stick figure on a piece of paper and passed it around. Each student had to say something mean about the drawing, and then crumple it up.
The next time the teacher passed the piece of paper around, the students were asked to say something nice and then smooth the paper out.
The result: "After everyone said something nice, it was still all crumpled up," said Amanda, now a fifth-grader at the Quashnet School.
She relayed the story to her fellow students in preparation for "No Dissing Day" tomorrow, and they liked it so much that they affixed the message to their classroom door.
The districtwide event, sponsored by the Quashnet School K Kids, a student version of the Kiwanis Club, is one way that administrators and teachers are trying to enforce positive behavior in the schools.
"It's just bringing another level of awareness to how we tease each other," Quashnet School principal Patricia DeBoer said.
The Quashnet kids have already started signing paper bricks as a pledge that they won't call anyone a name tomorrow.
Their pledge day falls right in the middle of national No Name-Calling Week, which started yesterday...
-Stephanie Vosk
Cape Cod Times 1/22/08
The students are pledging that they won't call anyone a name - tomorrow.
I know: not calling anyone a name tomorrow is a step in the right direction. Maybe a first step for many kids. A day at a time... I know.
But as an adult who remembers taking some dissing when he was a child, tomorrow seems painfully too small a pledge.
We all know children and in one way or another many of us are responsible for the children we know: responsible for their welfare and for raising them with the understanding that Christians do unto others as they would others do unto them.
As schools observe No Name Calling Week and No Dissing Day, we adults might look for ways to engage our children in conversation with two purposes in mind: first, to see if the children in our care are objects of name-calling, dissing or bullying; and second, to see if our own children are sometimes among those who name-call, diss and bully their school mates.
From my own experience I know it's not easy for a child to report to anyone the disrespect he or she may be suffering and few bullies will brag to adults of their harassment of others. School communities are taking a lead here and the religious education program in our parish is beginning to pay attention to the ways children can abuse other children. Adults at home and in other appropriate venues have a like responsibility to reach out to children subjected to such behavior and to intervene with those who behave in this way.
As the parent of a child that was teased unmercifully for several years in school here in Concord, this blog struck an angry chord within me. We eventually had to take our child out of the Concord school system and place him in a private school. During the most difficult times for him, we found absolutely NO help whatsoever within the school system, or parents of the perpetrators. When your child is hurting, and bearing the brunt of bullying, it is heartbreaking. Not only should we be educating the students, but the parents and school personnel as well. In our situation it was my child that was blamed. I still find it unbelievable what he had to deal with.And the anger is still fresh.
ReplyDeleteYou know the old saying Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me? I can attest to the fact that that is dead wrong! Verbal abuse and bullying can stick with someone for a lifetime. Luckily, our experience turned out to be a positive experience when we removed him from CC and into a school system that would, under no circumstances, allow that type of behavior. We all need to be more aware. Our children are suffering, and sometimes, no matter how hard you try, there is no one to listen and help.
Dissing, namecalling bullying, and any other name you want to give it, can lead to very dangerous situations...these should all be part of the curiculum that is taught in our schools...
ReplyDeleteyes, names and bullying and teasing, etc. DOES stay with you... probably forever. Who I am today is absolutely a result of all those very painful, deep experiences. I'm not saying ALL I AM is because of those things, it's just that they affect me still, in how I think about some things, react to some things, and how I struggle with feelings about myself.
ReplyDeleteI am very grateful for my faith and relationship with God- THAT is literally what keeps me getting from one day to the next...
Regina wrote:
ReplyDeleteYou know the old saying Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me?
Yes, I do - thus the title of this post...
Elizabeth: Who I am today is also, in part, the result of those earlier negative experiences, but somehow they have contributed to the person I have become in a positive way... I'm not for a moment excusing the pain or those who caused it, but I also know what, in the end, I have made of that.
ReplyDeleteThis is something I am passionate about...bullying, dissing, name calling, rudeness towards their peers, and disrespectful behavior seem to be of epic proprotion. I am a person who spends a fair amount of time with children, adolescents and their families. I have seen this behavior escalate significantly in the last ten years. Each time I witness their cruelty to one another... it just takes my breath away.
ReplyDeleteWe must also acknowledge that this behavior is rampant in the adult population as well...I never cease to be amazed at the many ways that adults insult, criticize, and gossip about each other and think nothing of it...these are the very people who are raising these children!!
I think it is wonderful that schools, churches and community organizations are now recognizing this for the tragedy that it is and are attempting to deal with it, but I pray every day for those who continue to be tormented by the words and actions of others.
I am not often around children or young people, so I have not observed this behavior. Just reading the comments makes me feel very sad. Often children are acting out behavior they have witnessed at home. I don't know if this is the case with bullying, dissing, etc., but it might be. Abusive behavior of any sort is so damaging to the psyche, particularly that of a child or young person. I am glad this is being addressed by our parish.
ReplyDelete