There's some interesting back-and-forth in the combox for the post below titled DON'T Go To Confession If...
I'm wondering:
- do readers here frequent the Sacrament of Penance? if so, how often?
- when was the last time you came to confession?
- do those who choose not to frequent this sacrament make that choice for a particular reason?
- if you frequent this sacrament, do you find it helpful? how so?
- what might make you more inclined to celebrate this sacrament?
- do you believe there's any need for the Sacrament of Reconciliation?
- does the sex abuse scandal influence your thinking about this sacrament? how so?
Respond to any or all of the above. And, as with the sacrament itself, the option for anonymity in commenting can be freely chosen!
Yikes concord.... that comment above was leading me to spy/malware I think.... best deleted!!
ReplyDeleteExcuse me being anonymous. I haven't been to confession for more than 30 years. In some ways I wish I could go. I had a great talk to a priest several months ago, and he made it plain I was welcome for the sacrament anytime. There was so much of God's love in the whole conversation though, that I knew I was forgiven anyhow. But I find myself in a chicken-egg situation. Although I know God loves and forgives, with respect to the church side of things, I am not going to Mass, and can't see myself doing that. So I can't say sorry for that. So I can't go to confession.
I am having another talk to this priest soon. At least I can air the way I feel so stuck.
Actually, the letter verification thingie is a bit of a pain.... but I find it seems to stop the spammers like the guy at the top in their tracks.
ReplyDeleteAnnymous: Thanks! I've enabled comment moderation which means comments won't appear immediately - but we'll all be safe.
ReplyDeleteI want to go to Confession but seem to never get around to it. I do think there is a need. I also like the idea of the group reconcilation. I have not been to confession in so long I don't rememember how long. The sex abuse scandal has nothing to do with my lack of participation. Anyway I will try to make it before Easter. Anyone remember "Easter Duty" ?
ReplyDeleteI am a faithful communicant at my local parish and I have a deep love for the gift and power of the Eucharist. However, in recent years, I have not made penance a regular part of my faith life, yet I do believe there is a need to celebrate Christ's sacrament. I guess I've gotten more anxious about the formalities in the confessional...I've become more concerned about being formal and rote instead of just approaching the confessional in a relaxed way. Maybe you could help? I would really like to celebrate this sacrament on a more regular basis. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteI am loving your blog...I found you via Catholic TV!
Re your visual...what if someone said to you "You go first." Would you be willing to? From just the few comments above it seems as if there are people who would like to go to confession (reconciliation), but for one reason or another put it off. I think sometimes it is out of fear or embarrassment. Would it make it easier for the confessee if the confessor confessed something to the confessee?
ReplyDeleteIts been more than 30 years since I have been formally to confession. I have come to an inner peace that God has forgiven me as I have admitted my faults to him directly.
ReplyDeleteAs for the future, I can see this sacrament happening in a different form ... in spiritual direction where one's spiritual journey is shared with a fellow traveler on the journey. This is an ongoing relationship built on trust and honest dialogue. Such a relationship does not have all the historical trappings that I believe turn people away (i.e. the confessional) and offers a deeper challenge to continue on one's journey to the divine. I recommend that those who have been away from confession for a long time try to find a good spiritual companion to walk with them as they search for God in their lives. I encourage them to check out www.sdiworld.org for information on spiritual direction/companioning.
That comic is beautiful :)
ReplyDeleteI vividly remember my First Penance. Well, not the part in the confessional, but I remember studying for it (learning the Act of Contrition) and the service itself.
I haven't been to Confession in maybe 5 years... which is not to say I haven't confessed to God in that period. The sex abuse scandal had nothing to do with it. I moved to the area 5 years ago and it took a while to find a parish that felt right. Making my confession in front of a stranger is so... not helpful. There isn't time to get to know each other when there's a line outside the confessional.
Where is the penance room at HFP? I looked for it this morning. Is it the children's room?
It's been maybe 5 years since I went to confession. I haven't been back since the priest laughed at me and said...hey that's a good one, never heard that before! My friend was ridiculed as well and told she had to stop walking around like she was Miss GoodyTwoShoes. She almost stopped going to church let alone confession! Also,our choice of speaking face to face in a room with Father was taken away. Confessing in dark confessionals is our only choice now. I hear quite a few parishes are going back to this old way. What are they thinking?!! It's hard to feel the presence of Christ in a dark confessional. I'm not a bad person. I'm a sinner like everyone else but I feel my sins are forgiven through the Eucharist and prayer. I'm also an advocate for general absolution. I don't believe we will see this anytime soon with our present pope.
ReplyDeleteI try to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation once a month...unfortunately, the way I tend to live finds me to the confessional about once a week or so.
ReplyDeleteHelpful? It's absolutely necessary. I'm a sinner, understand.
As noted elsewhere, I've started "moderating comments" to avoid spammers from doing damage here. I think that I unintentionally "moderated" two good comments into oblivion! There was nothing wrong with the comments - mea culpa. (Maybe I should confess this!)
ReplyDeleteIf you commented and don't see it posted, please resubmit and I'll do my best to get it published.
I am trying to remember when I last went to Confession - it's probably 25 years or so ago. Inertia is probably the main factor.
ReplyDeleteFace-to-face confession is definitely not the problem. In fact,I don't think it is a good idea to return to the closed confessionals. People other than priests (ours is a dangerous era) can hide in them.
I am shocked by the priest who laughed at a penitent and made a cruel remark to another. I was given mistaken advice long ago in two different confessions, but it was well-meant.
I suspect that individual auricular confession (wasn't it originated by Irish monks, and is that the correct term)?) is indeed fading out and that group penance services are the way of now and the future.
The sex abuse scandal has nothing to do with my lack of participation I think its been 15 years.... at marraige prep.
ReplyDeleteI'm a huge sinner. I've never really made it an important part of my Catholic participation. I've always thought it a formality.
The reality is that I would never be able to remember all my sins while "on the spot."
I've always believed in and focused on trying to be an overall good person, loving parent, husband, son, brother, active community member, charitable person and public servant that I was doing ok and did not need confession... am I far off?
ROB
I haven't been in almost twenty years, and don't feel the need; I know when I've sinned; I acknowledge it and try to work it out - why have I behaved this way? have I hurt anyone? I face it head on, and I deal with it. No Hail Mary or an Our Father will make me feel better about it and "absolve" me; it's between me and my God. As a child, it made me feel better. Now, it would only make me feel silly.
ReplyDelete"now it would make me feel silly"
ReplyDeleteTrue, one of the problems I think is that many of us don't have a good confessor.I don't expect a priest confessor to be like a psychologist analyzing me and giving advice on how to conduct my behavior.Knowing that I'm contrite,the priest should give me direction on how to turn back to God and his compassionate, redeeming love.A penance of prayer isn't a bad thing, it's good but every individual and their sin should be taken into consideration. Christ-like actions such as a service to someone, a sacrifice of some sort, acts of mercy and so on. Assigning Hail Marys and Our Fathers makes me feel childish not like an adult Catholic. I then wonder why I bother going. I know God forgives me.It's between me and God.I don't need to tell a priest.
This is a good discussion, especially for those of us who grew up with "Catholic Guilt".I wonder what priests who are reading all these comments are thinking.
Anonymous wrote: "I wonder what priests who are reading all these comments are thinking."
ReplyDeleteI've been hanging back, not wanting to stop the steady flow of comments (yes!) - and I'm in the midst of a few very busy days. Keep the comments coming and I'll post my response on Wed or Thu.
I "went to confession"...had a face-to-face conversation...with a visiting priest at my home parish a few years ago during a communal service...with individual confessions. I still smile when I think of it for he was affirming and loving...God "with skin on." I wish all priests could be like this! Alas, he hasn't returned to the parish...and neither have I.
ReplyDeleteNice to hear a positive comment.
ReplyDeletejust to remind you that you owe us your response....
ReplyDeleteI believe comments on confession/reconciliation have topped tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. This is a good sign!
ReplyDeleteSome thoughts in response to the comments above...
ReplyDelete- The Sacrament of Reconciliation is just that: a sacrament. As such, it's one of the ways in which the church lifts up, celebrates and names as guaranteed the gifts of grace that God showers upon his people in so many ways. God nourishes his people all over the place, all the time: but it's only in the Eucharist that we celebrate and say: Behold, the Body and Blood of Christ! God forgives all the time and in so many ways for Catholics it's in the Sacrament of Reconciliation that we declare, Your sins are forgiven; you are pardoned and absolved! It would be foolish to say that God's grace is confined to the sacraments and it might be foolish for us who know the sacraments to deny ourselves the sacramental grace they offer us.
- There are bad confessors out there. I regret that very much. And although I think of myself as a good confessor, I'll bet there are those who misinterpreted my words, my tone of voice, my efforts and went away disgruntled or even angry. Finding a good confessor, I think, is not such a hard thing to do. Listen to the preaching - that's your best clue as to how that priest would serve you as a confessor.
- I seldom give prayers as penances, although for a reason I might. I usually invite the penitent to some action that would begin to make up for something confessed. I don't think folks find that silly - I believe they find it helpful. At least, that's what they tell me.
- I believe the big question about this sacrament has to do with our sense of sin, our own culpability and what failings require the sacrament of Reconciliation. The Church urges us to avail ourselves of the sacrament but also tells us that it is only necessary for serious sin. Somewhere in the middle, for most, is the place to be. We all fail - as Rob notes above. But he's trying to lead a good, decent, caring life at home, at work and in the community. Awesome start! But it might be helpful to growing as a human to annually or twice a year take stock of one's life and come to the sacrament and ask God's forgiveness for the failings that make us less the person we want to be and become.
- I'm not easily convinced that the confessor and penitent "trading" sins would, in the long run, be helpful. Although something just like that occurs in communal penance services, communally if not individually. Each penitent is guaranteed anonymity in this sacrament: I don't think confessors should be exempt from that.
- The penance room in Holy Family Parish in Concord, MA is on the Monument Sq side of the church, on the right as you enter the main church, just before the stairs to the choir loft. It is always open and you should feel free to take a look in the next time you're at Mass.
- I was happily surprised to see that none of the commentors above have had their penance practice changed by the abuse crisis. I asked the question because I often read, "How could you go to confession to a priest now that you know what some of them have done?"
- I believe the answer to the dwindling number of confessions is good catechesis and preaching on God's mercy and why and how we need it- and how it is offered to us everywhere and, sacramentally, in Reconciliation.
For those of us who are old, I think part of the reason for the falloff of confession has to do with the old form of preparation. It seemed one was encouraged to think of something to say, leading to a laundry list of supposed sins. (The "laundry" is actually an appropriate metaphor, because Sister might say something to the effect that our souls could be washed white as snow!) I, for one, tended to recite my Hail Marys and Our Fathers with my mind largely elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteIt never would have occurred to me that I might have asked Father how to help me get over beating on my brother, only that I should tell him something like "I hit my brother" and Father would say "How many times?"
In all fairness, I do not know what kind of confessor training priests got!
Even if today's preparation for Reconciliation seems to me to be better, I don't know if the young ones come any more often when they grow up!
I just heard on WBZ that the Pope has issued a guide to priests re the sacrament of reconciliation. Apparently one of the reasons for the dwindling number of people going to confession is because of some priests not being adept at their role. Would like for you to comment, Concord Pastor, once you have read the guide.
ReplyDeleteA comment I wrote here earlier disappeared, and I don't know why - I don't think I said anything harmful.
ReplyDeleteI did refer to the preparation of my long-ago youth, which somehow led us to think we must develop a laundry list of sins - an appropriate metaphor, since Sister told us our souls might be the color of chocolate milk but would be washed white as snow.
Thus, we might say "I hit my brother 10 times" but never ask how to stop! And, as for me, I recited my penances with my mind somewhere else. So, indeed, I think priest and penitent had few clues - I guess priests must still not be getting enough help.
Maeve: I don't know why your comment disappeared - and certainly there was nothing offensive in it! Thanks for your steady comments!
ReplyDeleteI just heard on WBZ that the Vatican has added new sins to the list of seven capital sins we already have. It is to bring us more in line with 21st century issues such as the degradation of the environment, genetic manipulation, unfair distribution of wealth, etc. I think this sounds like a good idea.
ReplyDelete