Yesterday the custodian at my church spoke to me as I was leaving after Mass. He mentioned that when he came in early in the morning he had found the heat in the upstairs church at 70º. I immediately realized what had happened. After the last Mass on Sunday I forgot to set the thermostat to have some warmth in the church for Evening Prayer on Sunday night so when I arrived at about 6:00 p.m., I jacked up the heat to 70º with the hope of warming the nave for those coming to pray. The problem was that I forgot to reset the temperature after Evening Prayer. I explained this to Joe and he said he was relieved to know that someone hadn't just played around with the thermostat.It was much later in the afternoon that I had what I'd call an "attack of self-insight" about this incident. I thought about other times when someone else had done the same thing with the thermostat, leaving the boiler pumping heat into an empty church - something we can't ever afford to and especially not this year! I thought of the judgments I've made about such an error - and others like it. I thought of how upset I would have been had someone else's mistake wasted all that fuel. And I realized I'd made no such a judgment about my own carelessness. I recognized the error but didn't get upset with myself. I thought of it as "lesson learned" - one that I'd need to keep in mind the next time I set the thermostat...
How often do I go easy on myself for the very things that rile and anger me when others do them? How is it that I am so understanding and gentle with my own mistakes and often so impatient with others'?
In this Advent season, there's a lesson here for me as I prepare to celebrate the birth of Christ, the Sun of Justice. If there's a lesson here for you, too, feel free to share in my attack of self-insight...
Image above by JoshuaDesigns
-ConcordPastor
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ReplyDeleteAs I was reading your post I realized that my reaction would be just the opposite...I would have understanding for the other and little for myself. I see clearly that "attack" will never be productive...compassion and understanding is always the way. I will pray to remember that!
ReplyDeleteWhat food for thought and reflection. I find myself flying back and forth between how you reacted and how Anne said she would react.
ReplyDeleteIn the end I think we can't forgive others if we can't forgive ourselves.
All easier said than done, but done with more grace for sharing in forums like this one.
Don't be too hard on yourself, CP. It is a lesson learned. Perhaps you might post a sign above the thermostat to remind everyone who turns it up to be sure to turn the heat down to the specified degree it should be once the event has ended. Put a sign on the coat rack - "Have you turned the heat down!!!"
ReplyDeleteWhat you describe is something that could happen to any of us any time. We can all find reasons to excuse ourselves and blame others. Yet, it's in circumstances like this, when God comes to us, no matter what our weakness may be. God dwells were we are. He searches for us. Justice is important in this week's readings. Justice is about giving people what they deserve. It's not about control or oppression. Advent then is about ridding ourselves of anything that is not of God while we wait.
ReplyDeleteAnne
get a programmable thermostat....
ReplyDeleteIt is a programmable thermostat.
ReplyDelete