Today's Baltimore Sun carries the news of the death of Fr. Joe Martin - a face and voice known to millions in the work of recovery from alcoholism. The video above is one of many of Fr. Martin's "chalk talk" presentations on alcoholism and recovery. For many years, films and then videos of Fr. Martin's talks were used in all branches of the US Federal government and the armed services to help alcoholics. (Follow the link to the Sun for the rest of the story and a moving video which Fr. Martin filmed near the end of this life.)
-ConcordPastor
The Rev. Joseph C. Martin, 84, a recovering alcoholic and an international leader in the fight against alcoholism and substance abuse who was a co-founder of Father Martin's Ashley, a Harford County treatment center, died March 9 at his home in Havre de Grace, Md. He had heart disease.
Father Martin's "Chalk Talk on Alcohol" and "No Laughing Matter" have become standard tools used by recovery centers, schools and employee assistance programs the world over. In the more than 30 years since Father Martin's Ashley accepted its first patient, more than 30,000 people have been treated...
(read the complete article here)
How I wish I had the strength to get beyond my addiction. I've prayed for the courage, but have yet to find whet I need, and I'm scared.
ReplyDeleteAnna: You're in my prayers... I hope that you are seeking and accepting the help of others on your path towards recovery and serenity.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great video and article. In my family we have a few folks who by the grace of God are in recovery. It is a blessing and they are loving their new found freedom of self.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the post.
Anna,
ReplyDeleteAwhile back a friend of mine was dealing with a some bad things.
This was my advise to her;
I'm usually the kind of person who doesn't need a whole bunch of help with things. Or at least that's how I see myself. I'm a self- starter and a self-motivator who can learn and do anything. Or so I like to think...
The truth is that there are many times when I need help and because I'm the way I am I often don't know when, or how, to ask. I bet there are all kinds of people out there who feel the same way. We've all been in over our heads at one time or another and it's no big deal to call out for a little help now and again.
In fact, by asking for help when it's needed, we can make our lives easier and help out those around us.
One of the hardest parts is knowing when you need help. If you're like me you'll tend to think you can do it all. This often leads to frustration or worse. I don't know how many times I've broken something or pushed a situation beyond easy repair by trying to go it alone.
When you start to get stuck, think about your problem and if you can use help-ask.
Don't worry about being judged. It's pretty common to feel silly or embarrassed when you can't figure something out, just remember bad things do happen to good people and there are times when the smart thing to do is to get help.
Don't wait until it's too late.
Going to others for help is something we're supposed to learn early on. Maybe we do, but all to often as we get older and more self-reliant (which is obviously a good thing) we tend to forget that everyone could use a little help now and again.
I'll pray for you.
Anna: ConcordCarpenter's advice is very sound - I hope his advice, and his prayers and the prayers of others here, will help you!
ReplyDeleteAnna, I will be praying too.
ReplyDeleteThank you Concord Pastor too, for posting this. We/I all have our addictions, little & BIG. This is a great reminder to humble ourselves/myself by asking for help and to extend a hand whenever necessary. It will be a joy to pray for Anna along with the many I know who will join in!!!
Anna and others,
ReplyDeleteThere are so many addictive behaviors that we might have and no matter what it is we can so badly beat ourselves up over. We think that it is better to keep it to ourselves because we might be embarrassed with our lack of strength to fix what we know is wrong. You will feel much lighter and stronger if you can find a way to help yourself with the help of other.
I am a food addict (bet some of you might be smiling now- I know it sounds silly, but trust me it is not). Tough one to tell people and tough one to just "say no," but I have gotten help and those that really know me see the difference in me. I can know see myself worthy of God's love, when before I would just wonder how could God love someone so weak and stupid.
There are lots of people who will be on your side, but always remember God will understand, forgive, help and most importantly ALWAYS be there.
My prayers are with you- God Bless.
Teacher
Hi Anna. One of my favorite sayings is, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
ReplyDeleteIt sounds like you may be ready to take some action concerning your addiction. You don't have to do it alone. There are many 12 step programs that have experience with, and can help with various addictions: Alcoholics Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, Narcotics Anonymous, Emotions Anonymous, etc.
Each group has a website that lists their meeting times and locations. These people share the same addictions, do not judge, and are there to help and support each other. Do yourself a huge favor. Find a meeting and attend. You are in my prayers. God bless you.
Once again, Anna, a reader (Michael) offers sound advice - you're in our prayers!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Teacher, for adding to the wisdom in this combox!
ReplyDeleteI hope Anna is reading here and taking in the support and good advice.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Anne, for your words here.
I would imagine there are many more than Anna reading this who are being helped and encouraged by what they read. A big part of an addiction (and I know from my own personal experience) is denial. Often it takes caring family and friends to help us find the help we need. I am ever grateful for the assistance I received from my own family to "see the light" and seek treatment. It changed my life. So God be with anyone who is struggling. I hadn't heard of Fr. Martin, but it sounds as if he might become a good patron saint for me and others.
ReplyDeleteafter reading all of the comments here, I feel... well, how do I describe it? I feel God.
ReplyDeleteIn a world (both inner and outer) where I feel so much pain and so little trust, you all have really shown me that there just might be hope...
I mean, I really love God and know that I trust Him (because I probably wouldn't be here right now if I didn't), but knowing the love of God is knowing the love of other human beings (or is that the other way around?), or something like that.
anyway, thanks everyone.
I thank Concord Pastor for the notice of Fr. Martins passing. I was one of the grapes he harvested for the vineyard of alcholism. Upon reading the blog I looked at a picture taken at a Matt Talbot/Twelve Step retreat in West Hartford Ct in early 1974. I was newly sober and struggling with a fractured family, limited faith, unemployment, guilt,shame and uncertainty about the future. Fr. Martin's words over the weekend and with me in a private time proved to be a turning point in my recovery and life. It set in motion actions and events that restored me to a sanity and a faith that would allow my wife and I to build a shattered relationship into a dedicated marriage, and a strong family unit able to endure many of the storms in life. I remember many years later while attending a forum on alcoholism at BC, Fr Martin addressed thousands in attendance and I felt he was speaking directly to me. His example of helping his fellow man served me well in my private and public life for all these last 35 years and I am grateful for his help in allowing me to gain the freedom, courage, and wisdom he spoke to all those years ago. Rest in peace Fr. Joe
ReplyDeleteMichelle wrote:
ReplyDelete"knowing the love of God is knowing the love of other human beings (or is that the other way around?"
It's both ways!
"God is love and those who abide in love abide in God and God in them..."
(1 John 4:16)
Tomhcon: Thanks for your personal testimony regards Fr. Joe Martin.
ReplyDeleteI never know which posts will draw response here but I'm very grateful for the response that this one has brought forth from readers.
Tomhcon, I'm so happy for you and your wife that you were able to save your marriage and be OK.
ReplyDeleteYou had a reason to rebuild.
I don't.
There's no one here. My children are for the most part,on their own.
There is no special someone to love me. I feel I can't be loved.
I drink, only at night.
To make it all tolerable.
I know I have a problem ; but I don't know how to stop.
Anonymous- you DO have a reason to rebuild- I think sometimes we don't know what that reason is, but it is there. I wish I could give you a "better answer". Who do you have in your life that you could go to, to ask for help? Even if it's an indirect ask for help, that's okay, more than okay. There is someone there. I will pray that you find that person.
ReplyDeleteMichelle is right on target here. Taking that first step towards help is just the step you might be afraid to take, but it's an important one and even before you reach out, the Lord is already at your side to help you...
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous,I agree with Michelle and CP,you must reach out and ask for help.My success in recover was never dependend on any one person, once I reached out many extended their hands and hearts. My base was AA and my faith and it didn't happen ovenight,I put a series of days together one at a time with the help of those who went before me and then reaching out to those behind me.My family came together only after years of hard work and demonstration I could be trusted and loved. By living the 12 steps of AA my life was tranformed and I enjoy a freedom second to none.I pray you reach out and find peace soon.
ReplyDeleteTonccon
Dear anonymous who drinks at night:
ReplyDeleteWhen I hit bottom I was drinking nightly in secret in my apartment. I was pouring Old Granddad overproof over a couple of ice cubes in a water glass and taking it to bed with me where I'd watch TV and eventually "go to sleep" (pass out)
In those days I had no clue, really not a shred of understanding, of what I would discover in myself and in the world after I got some recovery under my belt. I was not capable of imagining how good my life could become, how wonderful would be the relationships I would develop, how much I would change.
You don't know what your transformation will do, but you will find a transformation. I can promise you that you and your life will change in ways you cannot now even imagine.
Look up Alcoholics Anonymous in your local phone book or google them. Get on the phone with whoever's answering there. That person will have been where you are and will understand.
Call today. Amazing things will happen if you just take that first step. Really.
Piskie, sober 24 years
Anonymous - I don't know you, but I love you and am praying for you.
ReplyDeleteRe. not having a reason to rebuild, there ARE people out there who, someday, you WILL help. You just don't know them yet. That may be very hard to imagine, but it is true.
Christ loves us first SO we can love others. Lean on him and you will be amazed at how many people will, in the future, give thanks to you AND him for the choice you you make today to seek help.
Yesterday was day one. Thanks to all who wrote your support and experience - especially to the previous 3 comments above me. Your testimony really encouraged me that I must make a step to change my life.
ReplyDeleteI didn't drink last night. It wasn't easy ... but I didn't do it. I poured the wine down the sink.
I feel good and strong this morning.
I didn't call AA. Too embarrassed. I'm just praying right now and asking for Gods help.
Thanks again for your comments and help. Truly appreciate it.
Anonymous- I think praying and asking for God's help is a great start (and I think it's also doing A LOT- you said "JUST" praying and asking for God's help... ).
ReplyDelete(I'm glad you wrote again)
Thank you, Michelle. My prayers are with you also.
ReplyDeleteOne day - awesome!
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time - even more awesome!
Two days.
ReplyDeleteThanks Concordpastor.
:-)
I know it's a long road ahead... but I've at least given it a start ... and feel a little better.