Just about everyone, believer and non-believer alike, identifies Judas with betrayal. Wednesday of Holy Week is called Spy Wednesday because on this day at mass we hear the story of Judas traitorous scheming.
One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over... On the evening of the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, Jesus reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”
Betrayal is an ugly word...
Have I ever been betrayed?
Have I betrayed another?
What wound, what scars
has betrayal left in my life
and in the lives of those whom I've betrayed?
Fr. Aidan Kavanagh spoke of Holy Thursday as
the night in which Jesus was betrayed
- by the worst in us all...
That's a discomforting perspective on Judas' betrayal.
It's easy to point an accusing finger at Judas,
not so easy to accuse ourselves...
On the night Jesus was betrayed, Judas stood in for all of us
who have betrayed God and our neighbor.
Then Jesus, innocent and without sin,
carried on his shoulders
and suffered in his wounds
the burden of our infidelities, our sins,
our betrayals...
On the Cross,
Jesus is the Lamb of God
who takes away the sins of the world...
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us!
Here's a very contemporary setting of the Agnus Dei (Lamb of God) by Rufus Wainwright. The opening sounds drill into our hearts and the depths of our betrayals: right where God's mercy meets us: right in our sinfulness, where we most need his healing love and the gift of his peace. This song might help us image Judas plotting against Jesus and help us look more honestly at our own betrayals. But the wrenching music doesn't leave us in Judas' despair or our own remorse - it moves us beyond to the consolation of the One who takes our sins away, and finally, the music resolves in great peace: dona nobis pacem...
And Samuel Barber's much gentler setting of the same text,
performed by King's College Choir
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: dona nobis pacem.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
grant us peace.
PAUSE for PRAYER...
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: dona nobis pacem.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
grant us peace.
PAUSE for PRAYER...
With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart
and help me be honest in seeing how I've betrayed you:
how I've betrayed your love...
how I've taken you and your mercy for granted...
how I've presumed upon your forgiveness...
how I've betrayed you in thought, word and deed,
out of loyalty to the crowd, the fad, myself...
With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart
and help me be honest in seeing:
how I've betrayed my family, my friends, my colleagues...
how I've betrayed those around me
at work, at school, in my parish, in my community...
at work, at school, in my parish, in my community...
how I've betrayed my neighbor with gossip and half-truths...
how I've betrayed the poor and hungry
with my greedy and wasteful ways...
with my greedy and wasteful ways...
how I've betrayed the truth with my lies and cheating...
With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart
and help me be honest in seeing how I've betrayed myself:
how I've been dishonest with and about
the person you made me to be...
the person you made me to be...
how I've betrayed my given word, the promises I've made...
how I've betrayed the best in me
by choosing the cheap and tawdry...
by choosing the cheap and tawdry...
how I've betrayed your image within me,
the divine image in which you created me...
With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart
and help me be honest in seeing how, with Judas,
I betray and hand you over
for money, for prestige,
in fear, out of pride,
in selfishness and presumption,
and in my vain, self-serving efforts
to win the praise of others...
Forgive me my betrayals, Lord,
in selfishness and presumption,
and in my vain, self-serving efforts
to win the praise of others...
Forgive me my betrayals, Lord,
and help me forgive those who have betrayed me...
Help me stand in the light of your truth, Lord,
Help me stand in the light of your truth, Lord,
and show me my need for your mercy and pardon...
Amen.
Amen.
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