A Concord Pastor Comments: Pause for Prayer: Spy Wednesday

This morning's Pause for Prayer has more content than usual:

- some backgound on "Spy Wednesday"

- some thoughts on betrayal

- a wrenching musical setting of the Lamb of God chant

- the usual Pause for Prayer entry

- and another setting of the Lamb of God

Just about everyone, believer and non-believer alike, identifies Judas with betrayal. Wednesday of Holy Week is called Spy Wednesday because on this day at mass we hear the story of Judas' traitorous scheming:

One of the Twelve, who was called Judas Iscariot, went to the chief priests and said, “What are you willing to give me if I hand him over to you?” They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that time on he looked for an opportunity to hand him over... On the evening of the first day of the Feast of Unleavened Bread, Jesus reclined at table with the Twelve. And while they were eating, he said, “Amen, I say to you, one of you will betray me.” Deeply distressed at this, they began to say to him one after another, “Surely it is not I, Lord?” He said in reply, “He who has dipped his hand into the dish with me is the one who will betray me. The Son of Man indeed goes, as it is written of him, but woe to that man by whom the Son of Man is betrayed. It would be better for that man if he had never been born.” Then Judas, his betrayer, said in reply, “Surely it is not I, Rabbi?” He answered, “You have said so.”

Betrayal is an ugly word...

Here are two hard questions:

have I ever been betrayed?

have I ever betrayed another?

What wounds, what scars

has betrayal left in my life?

and in the lives of those whom I've betrayed?

Fr. Aidan Kavanagh spoke of Holy Thursday as

the night in which Jesus was betrayed

- by the worst in us all...

That's a discomforting perspective on Judas' betrayal:

it's easy to point an accusing finger at Judas

- not so easy to accuse ourselves...

On the night Jesus was betrayed,

Judas stood in for all of us,

for all of us who have betrayed

our God and our neighbor.

And the next day, Jesus, innocent and without sin,

stood in for us,

carrying on his shoulders and suffering in his wounds

the burden of all our infidelities, our sins

- and our betrayals...

On the Cross,

Jesus, the Lamb of God

takes away the sins of the world...

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:

have mercy on us!

Below, you'll find Rufus Wainwright's contemporary setting of the Agnus Dei (Lamb of God). The opening sounds here drill into our hearts, our souls, to precisely the place where the Lord's mercy meets us: in our sins and betrayals of God's love for us our betrayal of others -- precisely where we most need his healing love and peace. Wainwright's music might help us image Judas plotting against Jesus and help us look more honestly at our own betrayals - but the wrenching sounds don't abandon us to Judas' despair or our own remorse. Rather, it moves us beyond to the consolation of the One who takes our sins away, finally resolving in great peace: dona nobis pacem...

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Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: miserere nobis.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:

have mercy on us.
Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi: dona nobis pacem.
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
grant us peace.

PAUSE for PRAYER...

With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart

and help me be honest in seeing how I've betrayed you:

how I've betrayed your love...

how I've taken you and your mercy for granted...

how I've presumed upon your forgiveness...

how, out of loyalty to the crowd, the latest fad, or myself

I've betrayed you in thought, word and deed...

With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart

and help me be honest in seeing:

how I've betrayed my family, my friends, my colleagues...

how I've betrayed those around me
at work, at school, in my parish, in my community...

how I've betrayed my neighbor with gossip and half-truths...

how I've betrayed the poor and hungry
with my greedy and wasteful ways...

how I've betrayed the truth with my lies and cheating...

With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart

and help me be honest in seeing how I've betrayed myself:

how I've been dishonest with and about
the person you made me to be...

how I've betrayed my given word, the promises I've made...

how I've betrayed the best in me
by choosing the cheap and tawdry...

how I've betrayed your image within me,

the divine image in which you created me...

With the light of your truth, Lord, open my heart

and help me be honest in seeing how, with Judas,

I betray and hand you over

for money, for prestige,

   in fear, out of pride,
   in selfishness and presumption,
    and in my vain, self-serving efforts
      to win the praise of others...

Forgive me my betrayals, Lord,

and help me forgive those who have betrayed me...

Help me stand in the light of your truth, Lord,

and show me my need for your mercy and pardon...

Amen.

And finally... here are some healing sounds

from Samuel Barber's much gentler setting of Agnus Dei
performed by King's College Choir