Pause for Prayer: TUESDAY 3/12

 

The older I get, Lord, the more I seek recourse 

    to the archives of my mind and heart,

that labyrinth where more is stored 

    than ever I'll sort out

for I lack the time and memory's keys to unlock and to open 

    all my life has stored away...

 

 

Still, there's comfort just in knowing it's all there:

    all the good and all the bad, 

        the memorable and forgettable,

the joyful and the painful, 

    what's well-known, what's best kept secret,

        my successes and defeats, all I've done and failed to do,

my faith and doubt, despair and hope,

    my loves - both real and make-believe,

        the files of my faithfulness, the folders of my failures

 

- and the thread of your sweet mercy, Lord,

    unraveling the snarled, making sense of my confusion, 

bringing order to the disarray of ideas, thoughts and memories, 

    of feelings and emotions, 

of the things I most remember 

    and what I've tried hard to forget

and everything  that happened without forethought or design

    and all that came from your hand

        as blessing and surprise...

 

                Have I locked up files, Lord,

                    that need to see the light of day?

                Are there entries in my archives 

                   that I need to bring to prayer?

                Do I spend my time consulting

                    just the files that make me sad

                while ignoring all the records

                    of the joy that has been mine?

 

Send your Spirit, Lord, to open

    what I need to see again

and to put away at last, as healed,

    what weighs heavy on my mind...

 

Help me find in my heart's archives

    the story of your love for me

especially in those chapters

    when I wondered where you'd gone...

 

You know everything that's stored, Lord,

     in the archives of my heart,

all the good and all the bad,

    all the joy and all the sorrow

and you love what you have found

    for its the story of your grace,

the story of your love for me

    and my love, Lord, for you...

Amen.

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