NIGHT PRAYER: Sunday 8/30

On Sundays, Night Prayer takes its lead from some element from the day's liturgy.  In today's gospel from Matthew 16, Jesus says, 

     "If you want to come after me, you must deny himself,
        take up your cross, and follow me. 
    If you wish to save your life - you will lose it,
        but if you lose your life for my sake - you will find it"

I didn't have a preaching assignment this weekend, but as I heard the deacon proclaim the gospel on Saturday afternoon, I was struck as never before by the thought of losing my life - for the Lord's sake... My thoughts turned to all the many possible ways I might lose my life - not for the Lord's sake - but for the sake of so many other things...

 

For your sake, Lord!

That's what you ask of me...

 

You're ok with my losing the gift of my life

as long as it's for your sake... 

 

That got me to thinking, Lord:

    what might be some other ways

I might lose my life

    for the sake of so much less?

 

What other ways might I spend my life,

    waste my life, toss away your gift and grace?

 

For the sake of what paltry things

    might I let go the greatest gift I've ever received? 

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake of fame and fortune...

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake whatever, however,

        I've defined what happiness is...

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake of being accepted

        by someone or some group of people...

 

I might lose my life 

    for the sake of whatever habits

        addict my body, my attention,

            my affection, my soul...

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake of pleasure, self-gratification,

        comfort or indulgence..

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake of holding on 

        to what I should let go

    or for the sake of avoiding

        what I need to confront...

 

 I might lose my life

    for the sake of mindless dreams,

        fantasies and delusions...

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake of looking for love

        in all the wrong places...

 

I might lose my life

    for the sake of those, 

        for the sake of things

    whose promises are hollow, 

        empty, counterfeit and false... 

 

What then, Lord, does it mean

    to lose my life for your sake? 

 

How might I lose my life

    for your sake, Lord? 

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    by humbly naming you

        my Creator and Redeemer,

    and your mercy and your grace

        the greatest gifts I'll ever know... 

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when I lose myself in prayer,

        when I lose myself in gratitude,

    remembering that you know me,

        that you call me by my name,

        that you're ever at my side,

            in good times and in bad,

                in sorrow and in joy...

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when I remember how you love me

        in spite of all sins,

    when I remember that your mercy

        has no end and knows no bounds... 

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord, 

    when I pray for the grace to let go

        all that holds me bound,

    what shackles and imprisons me

        and keeps me from being

            whom you created me to be... 

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when I lose myself for others,

when I share with others, generously,

    from all that you have given me,

        all you've given me to give away...   

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when I let go what has its hold on me

and welcome in the blessings

    you have ready for my heart...

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when I let go my stubborn ways

and open wide my mind

    to your wisdom, word and will...  

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when life with you forever

is my deepest, hope, my greatest dream,  

   the promise that sustains me

        in good times and in bad... 

 

I lose my life for your sake, Lord,

    when your heart becomes the place

where I first look for my home,

    for my peace and consolation,

the haven where there's healing

    for my wounded, broken heart...

 

Help me, Lord!

Help me not waste or spend 

    or lose my life on anyone or anything 

- less -

    than you, your mercy, 

        your promise and your love... 

 

Protect me, Lord, while I'm awake

    and watch over me while I sleep

that awake, I might keep watch with you

    and asleep rest in your peace...

 

Amen.

 

O God, You Search Me 

    by Bernadette Farrell

 

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