The simplicity and sweetness of the image above is NOT my contemporary experience of second graders' first confessions!
Our parish celebrates First Reconciliation with our second graders in small groups on Saturday afternoons.
In the preparation session with their parents I speak about the spectrum of levels of maturity in these children and how some children may simply not be ready for this sacrament on a number of levels. I also address the issue of parents insisting that their 7 year olds, on a preset time table, celebrate a sacrament which the parents themselves have pretty much stayed away from for 20 or more years. Among the parents of more than 70 children, only a couple of families have decided to delay their child's first experience of this sacrament.
As I sit in the penance room and meet a parade of second grade "sinners," I meet a variety of children. While most are well prepared (they know what to do and what to say) I'm not convinced that many of them understand why they're doing what they're doing and saying what they're saying.
On the other hand, I realize that in a culture that eschews taking responsibility for moral failure, these children are being encouraged to take some personal inventory of their behavior, to assess what they find, acknowledge responsibility before God and neighbor, 'fess up and receive a penance, something which, I tell them, one does to make up for something one has done wrong.
There's something good, even healthy in all of that. And of course, that's why I encourage parents to celebrate the sacrament themselves.
I think back to my own childhood and while I don't remember my own first confession, I do remember that confession was an important and significant fiber in the fabric of Catholic life. Even before children came to this sacrament for the first time, they knew that others in their family frequently entered that "box" and in the dark spoke their sins and promised not to sin again. Children saw their older siblings and parents and friends and neighbors doing this on fairly regular basis. The sacrament enjoyed the support of public witness.
Now, it's not uncommon for moms and dads to inquire at the parent catechesis, "Father, I don't know where the confessionals are in our church." Granted, the only confessional is in a basement chapel where Sunday worshipers seldom go but these adults walk by our penance room with its open door all the time. It's just that they've not walked through that open door and are unfamiliar with it.
On Confirmation retreats in the parish we have a penance service for our 10th graders. A large majority begin their confession by noting that it has been eight years since their last confession, which was their first confession...
Do you have children preparing for First Communion? What do you think of their receiving this sacrament in the second grade? Is your child (was your child) ready for this sacrament? Would you prefer to postpone it?
We find ourselves just about on the eve of Lent... How many readers here plan to come to the sacrament of reconciliation in this holy season? Has it been a long time? What has kept you away? What might bring you back?
Speaking of reconciliation, the current edition of NCR has two stories and an editorial about Cardinal Law and his current experience in Rome. If you post it, I'm sure it will generate many comments.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a while for me, I admit. However, it's still comforting knowing that we have this sacrament of healing and mercy available to us when our lives have taken a sinful turn and we are aware of grave sin. Sometimes it's about resolving some confusion (Was it a sin?) and of course it should always be about conversion. Aside from this sacrament, I also love the fact that our ordinary struggles with sin are forgiven by our participation at Sunday Eucharist. There are quite a few times during mass that we ask for God's forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteI'm recalling a workshop a few years ago, given by ConcordPastor. I think it was at an RE Congress. You distributed a very funny "hand out" about excuses for not going to confession. I think I kept it. I'll have to search.
I believe in confessing my sins to Jesus, and not a priest. I believe Jesus hears me, and when I am sincere in seeking His forgiveness, He forgives me. I changed my way of thinking after the sexual abuse crisis. I thought of all the times people went to confession seeking forgiveness, and it was a pedophile listening to their sins. Nothing made sense to me anymore.
ReplyDeletePerhaps if we made the sacrament of (first) reconciliation a family thing -- I mean requiring parents to receive the sacrament as well as their child. I know that sacraments shouldn't be "required", but the parents are requiring it of their child.
ReplyDeleteThe rest of us renew our baptismal vows at each baptism, after all.
I have meant to come to confession each Lent, and every year I fail to make time for actually going, and end up praying without a priest mediating. I don't feel less "confessed."
I do appreciate the times you have helped me talk through problems (outside of the sacrament) and I can see the value in having a real conversation with one's confessor, as part of the sacrament.
See you soon, I guess :)
Your visual brought me back to the days of my early confessions. I can't remember things exactly, but I think confession always made me a bit nervous. I remember one time I had a pocket on my dress full of pennies, which I managed to spill all over the confessional! It seems to me that perhaps I didn't have the maturity either. My first confession was when I was six years' old. For several years, every week or two, I would say approximately the same thing. "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I disobeyed my mother three times. I told lies two times and I had impure thoughts two times." Now I wonder if I did these sins at all. My mother was someone you didn't disobey! I don't think I told lies, because I abhor lies. And if I had impure thoughts, I wonder what they were! I think I might have added this because it seemed like a good thing to confess! I really don't remember much about those early days. I will say that there have been times in my mature years that I have found reconciliation to be very comforting....as if a great weight has been lifted from me. In these instances, I have met "face-to-face" with a priest for more of a conversation. I have found this very helpful in my own healing from sins that bothered me. I do recommend the sacrament, particularly for those who are weighted down by the problems life throws one's way.
ReplyDeleteI have been involved in preparing children for First Reconciliation for many years. What we need to keep in mind is that preparation for both First Penance and First Eucharist are gradual introductions to the sacraments, and that the following years of faith formation are critical; it is those following years (through adulthood) that truly help to form an adult faith. When parents do not continue to involve children in faith formation after First Eucharist they create a HUGE disconnect for their child.
ReplyDeleteI DO believe that there are children who are not ready developmentally for the sacrament at age 7 or 8, while others are. The parish catechetical team should always make families aware of this. Postponing the sacrament may be the best pastoral decision for some children...