Spy Wednesday: Keeping a Holy Lent - 38

Judas conspires with the Chief Priests by Fra Giovanni Angelico

Now the feast of Unleavened Bread, called the Passover, was drawing near, and the chief priests and the scribes were seeking a way to put Jesus to death, for they were afraid of the people. Then Satan entered into Judas, the one surnamed Iscariot, who was counted among the Twelve, and he went to the chief priests and temple guards to discuss a plan for handing him over to them. They were pleased and agreed to pay him money. He accepted their offer and sought a favorable opportunity to hand him over to them in the absence of a crowd. - Luke 22:1-6

Wednesday of Holy Week is sometimes called Spy Wednesday because the gospel for today's Mass relates how Judas conspired to betray Christ and hand him over to the authorities for thirty pieces of silver.
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Betrayal is a terrible thing. Some years ago, a person I worked with in ministry accused me of betrayal when he lost his position on a parish staff on which I also served. Whether I betrayed my colleague or not was a source of serious disagreement between us and severed our friendship. We saw the circumstances in very different ways. What I will never forget about the event was the accusation of betrayal. That I believed in my heart that I did not betray this person offered me no solace. The reality that someone I respected would name me a betrayer, of going behind his back to do him harm, left a deep and lasting wound. The wound has healed but the scar remains.

Have you been betrayed? Is there someone you have betrayed? Have you been accused of betrayal? On all sides, the accusation of betrayal is, at once, a heavy burden and a deep wound.

Benedictine priest Aidan Kavanagh once wrote of the "night in which Jesus was betrayed by the worst in us all..." Judas, the betrayer, played the part for all of us who have betrayed the love of Christ in betraying one another.

Innocent and without sin, Jesus carried on his shoulders and suffered in his wounds the burden of our betrayal...

Here's a contemporary setting of the Agnus Dei by Rufus Wainwright. This is not for every taste. What strikes me about it is the musical connection between the depths of our betrayal and sinfulness and the mercy of God: that God's mercy meets us in our sinfulness for that is where we need the Lord, where we need the sacrifice of his love, where we need the gift of his reconciling pacem (peace).

This piece helps me image Judas plotting against his beloved Master and helps me look more honestly at my own betrayals of Christ. Make your way through the wrenching opening sounds that drill one's heart. The piece does not leave us in Judas' despair or our own misery - it takes us beyond to the consolation of the One who takes our sins away...

Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us!
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
have mercy on us!
Lamb of God, you take away the sins of the world:
grant us peace!

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