Pause for Prayer: SUNDAY (before Wednesday!) 3/3

Let's see...
maybe it's been a while,
maybe even years,
since I went to church on Ash Wednesday...

How long's it been?
Let's see...
Yup - it's been a while!

When did I stop going for ashes?
Why did I stop going for ashes?
Was there a reason?
Will I go this year?
Why not go this year?
Why should I go this year?
Why go any year?
Why ashes?

Getting ashes doesn't mean I'm holy.
As a matter of fact,
getting ashes means I'm  
- not holy...

Ashes are for sinners,
for people like me who sometimes, even often,
act without thinking,
make a poor choice,
take the wrong path,
take a selfish decision,
do the wrong thing:
sometimes little things,
sometimes big things...

Ashes are for people who screw up,
who forget what's really important,
who let things slide
- even a lot...

Ashes are for folks like me
who sometimes hurt others,
who sometimes even hurt the people they love...

Ashes are for imperfect, broken people,
for people like me who let things get out of control,
for people who sometimes do the wrong thing
even when they know what the right thing is...

Ashes are for people like me
who take too many short cuts,
who don't always tell the truth,
who sometimes cheat,
for people who keep silent when they ought to speak up...

Ashes are for people like me...

Going to church and getting ashes
probably won't turn my life around overnight
but it could be a step, even just one step,
in a new direction,
on a path I sometimes think I want to follow
but have a hard time finding,
a path I often stray from...

Getting ashes this Wednesday
just might be the beginning
of mending my relationship with God,
my relationship with some people in my life,
my relationship with myself...

Getting ashes this Wednesday might help me
take an honest look at things in my life
things that really need looking at,
things that need attention,
things that need letting go,
things that need my embrace,
things that need changing,
things that need reconciling and healing...

Getting ashes this Wednesday might feel kinda strange,
and I might be a little embarrassed
when others see my smudged forehead
and ask me why I did it.
Well,  I could say:
I did it because: I've been thinking about my life,
taking a little personal inventory,
considering some changes
and thought this might be a time,
a way,
a place to start...

Me in church?
Me getting ashes?
Hey! It could happen!

I know it won't hurt
and it just might be good to give it a try,
to give it a chance:
to give God and me a chance
at a new beginning...

So even if it's been a long time
since the last time I got ashes,
I'm going to church this Wednesday
to say a prayer,
to get my forehead smudged,
to say hello to God
and take a first step on a path
I've been needing, even wanting, to walk...

And since I know
that by tomorrow or  Tuesday
I'll think of a dozen reasons not to go,
give me a nudge, Lord, a shove,
a kick in the butt or whatever it takes
for me to take that first step,
on Ash Wednesday...

See you on Wednesday, Lord!



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