The cake was delicious - carrot cake in case you were wondering!
Thanks for your comments, emails and all your kind words and good wishes. Several folks today have wished me well in the "next 35 years..." Well, I would be 96 years old on the 70th anniversary of my ordination: a not altogether impossible but still unlikely event. One year at a time!
But let me take this opportunity at the beginning of year 36 to muse a bit about a wonderful moment in ministry from just a few weeks ago.
We celebrate first Reconciliation in small groups in our parish, on Saturday afternoons. One of our second graders had missed his group so his dad called a few weeks ago to schedule a time for his son's first penance. We scheduled 4:00 on a Saturday afternoon. Once the shriving was done, the boy and his parents decided to wait to go to the 5:00 Mass. I was busy about things in the sacristy but at one point I walked back into the sanctuary and saw the dad walking around the church, stopping at and explaining each of the Stations of the Cross to his son.
It was a beautiful scene and I was deeply moved by it, for a couple of reasons.
Although I'm not sure that it was my father who taught me the Stations, I know that it might have been him because he and my mother were certainly my "first teachers in the ways of faith" - just as the rite of baptism of infants instructs. I went to Sunday school for religious education (catechism instruction) but I believe that the faith schooling that really formed and shaped me was what I learned at home through the words and example of my parents.
- I can remember my father showing me the different parts of the Mass in the small Sunday missal he had received and used when in the Navy.- I remember him showing me a chart in that missal indicating where, at every minute of the day, Mass was being celebrated somewhere in the world.
Image by Willow Tree
- I remember him quizzing me my return from Sunday Mass to make sure that I had listened to the sermon.
- I remember him teaching me about Peter's threefold denial of Christ and about the two thieves crucified with Jesus.
- I remember him watching to make sure that I blessed myself with holy water on entering the church - and making sure I did it reverently.
- I remember him teaching me how to genuflect before entering a pew in church.
- I remember him taking me to "make a visit" at church and helping me light a votive candle near the altar.
- I remember him taking me to church on Holy Thursday night to pray at the decorated altar in the chapel where the Blessed Sacrament was being reserved.
- I remember that although my father didn't often wear a suit and tie, he never failed to don a suit and tie for Sunday Mass.
- I remember him kneeling with his face in his hands at my grandmother's funeral Mass and wondering if he was praying or crying. I think he was doing both...
Watching the dad with his son in my church a few weeks ago flooded me with these memories which were and are a blessing.
I've been thinking since that Saturday afternoon of the important link my parents provided in my faith formation. They were my first teachers in the ways of faith and were, by their good example and instruction, the best of teachers. If that sounds extraordinary, please note that this is nothing more than what the church asks of all parents - and what all parents promise before God at their baby's baptism.
What the church expects of parents is a kind of "home schooling" in the faith. I don't refer here to home schooling as it's now understood but something much simpler. I envision here a home in which the parents' faith is alive and articulate enough to be something to pass on to their children.
A problem here is that too many parents have not been sufficiently formed in their own faith and so find themselves unable to pass it on to their offspring. I think the reason many parents might not walk the Stations and explain them to their children is that mom and dad themselves have not been instructed in the story of Christ's suffering and death as popularly depicted in the Stations' 14 scenes.
I don't say this to cast aspersions on any parents nor to criticize any era or brand of religious education. I say this simply to assess the reality.
What's the answer? The answer is obvious: adult faith formation. If parents are meant to be their children's primary and best teachers in the ways of faith, they need to be formed in faith themselves. Placing the responsibility nearly entirely on the parish and catechists asks too much of the parish and expects too little of parents. Parents and parish are meant to collaborate in the faith formation of their young people. Any other "lesson plan" fails to honor the roles that the domestic church and the parish church are meant to play.
There are many ways for fathers and sons to bond and in some significant ways my own dad and I didn't make the best connections. But the father and son I saw in church a few weeks ago reminded me of a bond with my father that has never failed me, even 35 years into ministry as a priest.
My prayer is that mothers and fathers will make every effort to bond with their children in the ways of faith, just as they promised at their sons' and daughters' baptism. For many parents, this will mean taking their faith more seriously than they have in some time, perhaps since their own Confirmation. Our parish offers many opportunities for adults to grow in faith and will continue to do so. If the father-son scene I described for you moves you, or if my memories of my own father touch your heart, I pray that you will be do what you need to do to grow in your own faith to be better prepared to pass on this great gift to your children.
-ConcordPastor
You provided a very powerful image for all of us, that of the father teaching his son about the Stations of the Cross and recalling the teaching moments you shared with your father. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteMay we all remember all those teaching moments that we've had with another person, be it a friend, family member, partner or ordained minister.
And congratulations to you on your 35th anniversary. Lovely image of the carrot cake remnants. If only we could scratch and sniff online. Here, I'll give a try. Sniiiffff...ahhhh.
May you continue to teach and shepherd us with care and love for another 35 years!
Loved all the ways your father shared his faith with you. What beautiful memories for you! Even though I went to Catholic school, I think many of the lessons of my faith I learned from my parents. They were both very good and kind. The way they lived their faith is something I have tried to emulate. When my father was in his late 70s, he took a course on the Bible at our local college. It was then that he took to calling Jesus "his brother." Learning is a lifelong process. As adults, learning more about our faith can be very rewarding.
ReplyDeleteI'm a little slow on the uptake here, I missed your anniversary post yesterday. :-( I even arrived after the cake was all gone!! :-) Please accept my heartfelt congratulations! I often pray in thanksgiving that you are my/our pastor...
ReplyDeleteYour musings on the impact your father had on your faith formation are so poignant...I too had the gift of parents, a grandmother and a dear, dear pastor, Fr Bill Morgan, who formed me so abundantly in faith. I will be forever grateful for their special gift.
My children, now adults, were offered these same gifts, but when the scandal struck it roared over them like a tsunami; I believe they are still people of deep faith, but I am saddened by their lack of connection to a parish family. I continue to love without judgement and try to provide the gift of faith through any moments that are open to witness and dialogue. I remain hopeful that one day the tides will recede, and with new eyes they will be able to see their way back to a community of faith that will support them and their growing families.
Well- I did come from a generation of somewhat informed catholics since I went to catholic school--taught and lead a CCd program. I chose to teach ccd to my children along with other children in the parish who were of the same age. You know by the term CCd about how old I must be. The reason I mention this is that the reward of these long classes--the planning and the disciplining came to fruition this Good Friday. While visiting our married son in Denver this Good Friday, he asked that I lead he and his Dad throgh the Stations of the cross on the grounds of the Denver Archdiocese.
ReplyDeleteThank you for each moment of every one of your 35 years (and the formative years before!) -- You are a blessing.
ReplyDeleteIndulge me in sharing a similar moment of mothering and mentoring: Last week I visited my (ailing) parents where they are still living, and unfailingly dedicated to each other, in the house I grew up in. My mother wanted to show me where she kept her few keepsakes (an/or valuables) and pass them on for safekeeping. Among them was a worn, greyish-crystal rosary. She told me that she had bought it as a young lady (let's guess 1935), and her mother had greatly admired it. She then gave it to her mother, who kept it safe and cherished until she was dying (1973)--and she returned it to my mother the last time my mother saw her alive. Last week she passed it on to me -- and I remembered, with great fondness, snuggling in close with my mother (when I was little) and hearing her teach me the rosary. And answering all my questions about the mysteries. And feeling connected with the depth of her faith.
Since then, I have gone to internet (or, Internet) and learned how to meditate with the rosary. I hope to find more time for it, soon. My mother is delighted that I even aspire to such a practice, as I would be if any of my sons connected with my faith when he is an adult. I have since learned that my parents used to say the rosary, TOGETHER, each night...and....perhaps if grace and health allow, they will again.
Perhaps even my sons, or my husband, might do the same with me....as unthinkable as that may now seem given the restlessness of out lives. But, given your insight, maybe it is not so impossible considering how vivid, direct, and cherished the memory of my mother's sharing her faith feels to me now.
With great love to you, AF, for all you have done and all you make possible to discover within ourselves --Happy Anniversary!
Great post Father
ReplyDelete