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Be still and know that I am God...
Ps. 46:11
It takes me some, time, Lord,
to actually settle down,
take a few deep breaths, relax
and really be still in your presence...
But way too often I don't slow down all that much.
I steal a few free minutes, my cell phone still in hand.
I think I'm praying but my mind and my attention
are a hundred miles away...
I read a few words, close my eyes, and hope for the best...
Real prayer comes when I put on the brakes,
pull off my day's highway, step aside from my schedule,
make a place to be quiet and still,
clear some space in my mind
and, in my heart's chapel, wait:
and I wait for you, Lord...
And the waiting can be the hard part.
I know you're there, by my side - you're not hiding.
But I wait to see you,
not with my eyes but with my heart...
I wait to hear you,
not with my ears but in your word...
I wait for your touch,
not on my skin but on my soul...
I wait for your presence beside me, around me,
and especially within me
and only in the stillness, in the quiet
will I find you...
Your presence is like a fine mist,
translucent, spun of the Spirit's breath,
a soft but steady light burning
in dark corners and at the tunnel's end:
only in the stillness, in the quiet
will I find you whose presence is so real...
And though I wait to find you, Lord,
I know that first - you wait for me...
You wait for me to slow my step and find you by my side...
You wait for me to nod my thoughts in your direction,
to tip my heart towards you when I'm grateful,
to open my soul's windows to your Spirit...
You wait all day and night
for me to call upon your name...
You wait for me with help for this day's problems...
You wait for me with mercy for my failings...
You wait for me with healing for my bruises...
You wait for me with peace to ease my sorrow...
You wait for me with light to fill my darkness...
You wait for me with grace to bless my nights...
You wait for me to make some time and find a place
where I might rest and wait for you...
Truth be told, Lord, many times I come to prayer,
not so much to wait for you
but to wait to see what you can do for me -
even to "remind you" of what you've not yet done...
And while I know you understand when I pray like this,
I also know your first desire is for me to know you,
to know your love for me and to love you in return....
Your first desire is to reveal yourself for who you are:
the One who's waited for me since before all time;
the One who waits for me when I'm faithful and when I'm not;
the One who waits for me to wait for you...
Help me, Lord, to be still that I might find you,
help me wait for you, my God...
And in the quiet, in the stillness,
let me find peace, even in the waiting:
in my waiting for you and in your waiting for me...
In the quiet, in the waiting, in the prayer and in the peace
help me see that you're my heart's desire:
that when I find my joy in you I've found everything I need,
that in your love for me you've given more
than all my mind and heart and soul might hold...
Amen.
Be still and know that I am God...
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