A Concord Pastor Comments: On Retreat: Wednesday 11/18

I'm away on retreat so I won't be posting as often as usual, just once a day, in the evening. Rather than offering a Pause for Prayer or Night Prayer, I'm inviting you to find some time and a place wherever you are this week to join me on retreat. I'll be writing in the first person singular and I hope you can make my words your prayer as you carve out a little retreat time for yourself each day this week. Find a quiet place... find a quiet time... light a candle... take a few deep breaths... ask the Lord to help you pray...

This morning, at the end of my daily conversation with my retreat director, he suggested this scripture for me to consider in my prayer today:

For surely, I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord,
plans for your welfare, not for harm,
to give you a future with hope.
Then when you call upon me and pray to me,
I will hear you.
When you search for me, you will find me;
if you seek me with all your heart,
I will let you find me, says the Lord...
(Jeremiah 29:11-14)

So, I prayed:

Lord... if your plans for me are for my welfare
and not for harm,
how is it that hard times come my way?
how is it that I know disappointment? sadness? loneliness?
How is it that grief and loss are a part of my life?

And I believe I heard Jesus answer my prayer:

You're my beloved! I only want the best for you - always!
I would never wish you harm or loneliness.
I'm on your side, I have your back, I have a heart for you!
I reach out with healing for your wounds,
with mending for your brokenness,
with consolation in your grief and loss,
with love in your loneliness,
with joy in your sadness,
with wisdom in your confusion,
with hope when all seems lost...

And I told the Lord:

I think I'm beginning to understand...
You do plan for my welfare, you do reach out to me
- not to replace my human condition
but to meet me in my humanity...
What I want you to take away, you come to heal,
what I pray you'll remake, you come to mend,
when I grieve, you come to console me in my loss,
when I'm alone, yours is the presence that fills my void,
when I'm sad, you are the source of the joy I seek,
when I'm confused, you offer wisdom not answers.

I'm learning, Lord!
I weep over the hard times in my history
and want and wait for you to rewrite my story
- but that's not how you work.
Your plan is to meet me in my story,
in the hard times, the rough patches
and in my pain, there to find me, heal me,
love and save me, all to make my story
one with yours...

And the Lord answered:

Yes! Indeed, I know the plans I have for you,
plans for your welfare, not for harm.
And now you're beginning to understand,
to see my plans for you - plans for a future with hope.
When you call upon me and pray to me,
I will hear you, in your distress
and when you search for me you will find me,
no matter how lost you may think you are.
You're my beloved! I only want the best for you - always!
I will never wish you harm or loneliness.
I'm on your side, I have your back, I have a heart for you!

And I answered: